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My ex wants to have sex with me on my Birthday, but I am not a cheater. What should I do?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 April 2009) 9 Answers - (Newest, 10 April 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

so i have a bf but i keep thinking about my ex and is crazy because i love my bf but we have sex issues.

the sex has never been good but i didn't leave him because i love him and i didn't want to just tell him and hurt his feelings.

but we have spoken about it and we are both aware that our sex life is not good at all. he kinda knows that im still not over my ex and he will bring it up occasionally.

but my ex wants me to see him for his bday because he still loves me and wants me to spend that day with him. i don't kno if i should. he wants to have sex with me but im not a cheater. honestly i want to have sex also but i don't want to hurt my bf like the sex me and my ex had was amazing and i would never feel the way i did for him for anyone else.

i don't know if i should just do it once n forget about it or if i shouldn't even think about it what do you guys think i should do?

View related questions: my ex, sex life

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

yea i guess there are woman who have it all and they should condiser themselves very lucky women..now is true but we cant always get what we want so basically im setteling for what i have..and settling for bad sex because i dont want to hurt my bf's feelings

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 April 2009):

Honeypie agony auntIn the long run if the sex don't work it is really hard to make the rest of the relationship work.

I do agree with you that I rather have bad sex and a good man then great sex and an asshole.. BUT... it is possible to have great sex and a great man.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

whats wrong with the sex is that there is no connection it doesnt work..it wasnt that important to me before because i love my bf and i said i rather have a good guy thats bad in bed than an asswhole who is good in bed..but the truth is that if i want to marry this person it would not work..if we have problems now what there to come more trouble..this is why the sex is bothering me more..the sex is like forced we make it happen it doesnt just happen..attempting more than once because either he is not hard or it just isnt working..he doesnt satisfy me like my ex did..my bf doesnt make me want to have sex..he doesnt make me want to turn him on or anything..i always want to avoid sex is crazy with my ex i didnt have this problem he loved every part of me and we didnt have any issues

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009):

If sex is bad, it's usually not one person's fault. Sex with one person can be great, and the same two people can have sex with other people, and it's bad (...though I'm from the Woody Allen school of thought that says even bad sex is good!). Any who. Agree with previous poster -- you say you're not a cheater. Says it all. Unless you're a cheater and a liar. However, if the sex is bad now, it probably won't get any better. I think you need to move on, and get back with your ex BF. Why did you both break up? BTW, for guys, busting a nut with a slut who has another BF is a good cum, so don't give it up, unless he's willing to commit to you, and you to him.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (8 April 2009):

Honeypie agony auntUberman is so right.

If yo uand your BF is having problem with sex. You two need to focus on that. What is wrong with your sex life? Is it something you think you two can fix? How important is the sex to you?

If you are not over your EX you really shouldn't have jumped into a new relationship, it jsut isn't fair on the guy.

Figure out what and who you want. Then be honest. If you want your current BF then cut all ties to the ex. If you want your ex then dump your current before going back to the ex.

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A female reader, kaylagal United States +, writes (8 April 2009):

kaylagal agony auntI agree with uberman11 that if you do it once, you will do it again and again. Please don't do it. Why did you break up with your ex? Sounds like you're not over him and you guys have some unfinished business. Don't drag your bf into this mess. Either break up with him and go and have sex with your ex OR stay with your bf and cut your ex loose, forever.

Don't mess up this guy for the next girl.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2009):

well if you still think about your ex.,then why don't you get back together with him.

and the only reason why he keeps bringing it back you is because he wants to get in your pants and to dream you of your feelings for him. what you should do is tell your bf that your not interested.

tell him that you just want to be friends until you make up your mind on what you want to do.

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A male reader, Dibmo Sweden +, writes (8 April 2009):

Dibmo agony auntwhat you in the end should or should not do is none of my business but if you are NOT A CHEATER as you stated you are not having sex with your ex without your boyfriends conscent! End of story lol

I advice against silence to avoid hurting your guy strongly though. Think about it what good could ever come out of that in the long run at all?

GL cheers

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A male reader, uberman11 United States +, writes (8 April 2009):

if you do it once your going to to it again and again, so if you dont like the one your with now leave him and go back to your ex but dont cheat please that hurts way to much for a guy and you will screw his heart up for the next woman

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