A
female
age
41-50,
*helly8
writes:My boyfriend of 7 months and I broke up today. Last night, while inside the gas station paying for gas, he stayed in the car and found my journal. He began to read it and found out that I slept with someone in the time between I broke up with my ex and starting a relationship with him. He was so angry. Calling me a liar, all types of names, and said he couldn't trust me. For the past two months we have been having problems, mainly because he is always accusing me of cheating on him (which i have not). He believes he can't trust me because I hid this from him, therefore which means I lied to him, and according to him means I never wanted him to know. All of which is not true. I didn't think about that fling until he brought it up. I've told him since we first started our relationship that I don't discuss my pass relationships because who i dated before him should not affect our relationship today. He said he felt the same way, but has always asked me questions, which I've answered. It just so happens, since we live in a small town, the guy I had a fling with before him is someone he hates. My boyfriend broke up with me, told me he didn't want to marry me, wiped his hands clean and said, "I'm done with you". He thinks he is my second choice/last option because the man I slept with before him had a hit song on the radio 10 years ago.Although this wasn't the ideal relationship (he was controling, had man handled me recently after loosing his temper in an argument, and he snooped), he was my first love. I guess what I'm asking is, what did I do wrong? Is this my fault?
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female
reader, shelly8 +, writes (7 June 2009):
shelly8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to say thank you to those who posted. You don't understand how much this helps. He has contacted me a couple of times to tell me that I'm a liar. I'm no longer picking up. But ya'll are right; he has issues. I told him at 4am this morning that I refuse to deal with him anymore. Your words have helped me get my power back. Thank you again.
A
female
reader, Blondy +, writes (7 June 2009):
 I can't see anything that you have done wrong here. You weren't dating him yet so why does this have anything to do with him? Sounds like he is jealous of the other guy maybe because of that song, or some other reason. This guy sounds like a dick to me from what you've described.You don't like to discuss past relationships because they have nothing to do with your current one: Fine. He should have respected that and A. Not asked you questions like he did and B. Not read your journal. You said he is controlling, manhandled you, snooped, asked you things he knew weren't any of his business, says he can't trust you, calls you a liar. It sounds to me like he's got some problems of his own that aren't related to you. In my opinion you've done nothing wrong and I don't see how anyone could call this cheating. You weren't dating him at the time so its not cheating! Simple as that. You had every right to sleep with this other guy because you weren't committed to anyone else so what exactly is his problem? Its a guy he hates? Boo hoo, so he is jealous or resentful towards this guy for whatever reason and took it out on you, which is stupid because how were you supposed to know any of that? I don't think you did anything wrong and the guy sounds like an ass. Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, christopher422 +, writes (7 June 2009):
 I dont believe you did anything wrong, in fact i think he was wrong for reading your journal.Sounds like he has some trust issues and its probably gonna take him some time, even years to get over them, if at all.If i were you, i would "wipe my hands clean" and look for a new boyfriend who is a bit more mature and secure in there own "self worth"
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): From what you've said the ground rules were clear. You didn't do anything wrong. And he doesn't sound like a catch. Move on with a clear conscience.
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