A
female
age
36-40,
*allushka
writes:me and my boyfriend studied together during our graduation programme and soon we bcame best of friends. he proposed me last yr and we had a perfect relationship for the first few months. then we had to return back to our respective cities after completion of studies. after goin into a long distance relationship things were not like b4. he comes from an extremely conservative family.so he couldnt call or msg according to him. so he just called and we talked for 10-15 mins.first we used to talk for hours together. the number of texts reduced. so i used to get angry and we used to argue over this. how much time does it take to text?? and at the end he would convince me how foolish i was and how selfish i was, that i didnt think of him.and i would say sorry just to patch up. this same thing happened again and again almost every week since past 6-7 months. even if i asked him that should i come over to meet you for the weekend, he would say,"no. dont come. i cant meet u here in public. if my parents come to know there will be a major problem."and now he doesnt talk to me the way he used to.he is not loving or caring or nething tht he was before.he says he is fed up. the same fight occured and this time he is not ready to listen. but all i know is i really love him. do i still have any hope?? how can i restore things ??
View related questions:
long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, mallushka +, writes (1 April 2010):
mallushka is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthnx guyz!!!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 If I were you, I'd give up the pretense that he's my boyfriend. He's not behaving in anyway like a proper boyfriend and I think the situation is against this working out. You are frustrated and unhappy because you have handed over control of the sitation to him. Time to take back your power and end it. Then you can get on with the healing process and not feel as though you're waiting for something that will never happen.
You'll feel miserable, yes, at the end of the relationship, but you will feel so much better, because then you won't be paralyzed with uncertainty. You'll have made the decision and taken the action. You won't be allowing him to run your life, when he's very clearly not interested in remaining in contact with you. If he really wanted to be in contact with you, he would be. He would have found a way.
Take back control, make the decision yourself, and you will feel better sooner. Take care.
...............................
A
female
reader, mallushka +, writes (31 March 2010):
mallushka is verified as being by the original poster of the questionfinally he called me today!! he said he wz very upset because of my impatience. he said that i m forcing him to talk to me. so he has asked me to stop messagin and callin him and give him some time. according to him,"the more u force me, d more i m driven away. so plz dnt make any attempts to get back to me"whn he feels like talkin he will get in contact himself. he didnt mention anything about d relationship being over or something. itz so difficult waiting for someone. i feel paralyzed whn i cant msg or call him. itz painful to c him chat wit other pple on facebook n ignoring me.d situation is so painful, for how long can i hang on like this not sure if i am in a relationship or not?? if he gets back in a week or 2 itz ok, but how long do i keep hopes. i m miserable
...............................
A
female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (31 March 2010):
 He may have acted in haste by securing you with a proposal. Then when he went home, he lost the courage to tell his family what he had done. If he loved you he would want to be with you and he would want you to meet his family. I think he may have lost some of his feelings for you now hes back home. Its not fair of him to treat you this way and i dont think his parents are so strict that he cant call or text you when he wants to. I feel you have nothing to lose by giving him an ultimatum now. Either shape up and tell his parents about you and arrange an introduction or explain himself!! It is very unfair of him to keep you hanging on like this if he has no intention of being with you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (31 March 2010):
 It sounds like his infactuation and lust for you is now gone, he is seeing the real situation.
I think he is using his family as an excuse, anyone who is truly in love would not have these issues, it seems strange to me.
You may love him a lot, but I really dont think he is feeling the same for you anymore. When a guy truly loves a woman he will go out of his way to meet her, phone or text when he can and keep regular contact.
Sorry if this sounds hard, but you need to take a reality check here.
I hope you can one day find what your looking for, dont give up!
...............................
|
