A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year and a month, and its starting to cool. The thing is, we're in a long distance relationship; we're on opposite sides of the country. Recently, she's becoming more and more distant-not calling for a week or two, and saying that she's simply been "busy." Earlier on in our relationship, she was always the one calling me, and leaving me missed calls but now its the other way around. I'm really worried because I have basically no other form of contact with her due to our time difference. I don't know what to do. There have been times when I call her and she doesn't call back but when I call her, maybe the 3rd time, a day later, I can tell she's talking to someone else on the phone because the dial tone is busy. Am I being paranoid or worried over nothing?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's a pretty good idea, thanks alot :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2010): I wonder if it could be that, because you are so far apart from each other, she gets caught up with things that are going on around her, and doesn't think to make more time for your relationship. It can be easy to get sidetracked by other things, no matter how important the relationship is to that person. I think it's a good sign that things do improve if you speak to her about it, even if it is only temporary. It suggests to me that she does care, and is willing to try. But then, after a while, she may get busy with other things and neglect to make time to contact you.
Could you maybe suggest to her that you allocate a specific time to have contact? I don't know if you usually speak on the phone, or text, or e-mail. But whatever it may be, maybe you could agree that, for example, every Tuesday and Saturday, at a specific time, you will talk on the phone, or go online, or whatever. I guess it may be a bit difficult to work that out, but it was just a suggestion that came to me as I read your response. I know other things may crop up, but if she could really try to stick to those times with you, that could be an option. x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, I'm the writer of this post-I've told her about this multiple times before and we've even broken up over this issue but we got back together. Every time after we discuss this, things get a bit better but then it goes back after a while.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2010): I don't think you are worrying over nothing, I would feel concerned too. I can't say why she is being so distant, as I don't know. But there is a problem here, because you are feeling troubled by this and are worried something is wrong.
So, I do think you need to try and talk to her about this, and see if there is something going on. She might just be really busy, or maybe there is something else. But either way, she needs to know how it is making you feel, otherwise things won't get better, and you will just continue to worry.
So do you think you could try and tell her your concerns, and ask if there is something wrong? She may not realise how you are feeling, or that she seems more distant than usual. I do think there is something not quite right though, if she is being like this, although I can't say what. So try and confront her about it, and get some answers from her. Hopefully you will get to the bottom of what is going on. Good luck. x
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