A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have recently discovered that my boyfriend has been posting m4m ads on craigslist. For some reason, this is more comforting than m4w. But that's another story... I don't know if he's acted on any of these (I only know of three) but why is he doing it in the first place? Is he simply curious? Aside from STDs and what not, should I be worried? Is this normal for straight men to post m4m ads?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2010): thank you rhythm for your reply. i appreciate you clarifying. mal
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): No I am not suggesting that if someone is gay or bi-sexual child abuse is the reason, so your reading comprehension is off there and you are pulling out a part of the information with the precedng word man and the topic at hand which was why straight men might have sex with another man. The fact that I also stated that there is a difference between homosexual behavior and homosexual orientation further states that I do not believe they are one in the same or have the same root cause....Clear on that now?
As far as the OP thinking that her boyfriend is just curious to see if he would get any responses by posting the add. No, he isn't just curious, he wouldn't give out any personal contact information if he were, he wouldn't have placed the ad. This is something he either has experienced before and wants to do again or is planning to.
I don't know what further evidence is needed by the OP short of witnessing the act for herself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIn response to the comments received, I am angry about the situation and I'm not okay with anything going on behind my back. I discovered the situation much by accident, however I confirmed via his email. Numbers, addresses, responses, etc. haven't been exchanged so I don't know if he actually hooked up with anyone. From what I can see, it looks like they are just postings. That's why I am less concerned about the m4m than m4w. If I knew of any infidelity, this conversation wouldn't be happening as he would be out the door. From what I can tell, he's simply expressing a curiosity...maybe to see if he would have any responses?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2010): *There are many reasons a man might seek out sex with other men, often it is a result of childhood truama being sexually abused by another male and the desire to have affection with other men that they didn't have in childhood with their father. Or there is sex addiction, substance abuse, high sex drive along with opportunity, experimentation, voyerurism, and so on.*
a quick question...rhythm are you suggesting that if someone is gay or bisexual, that it is because they were abused or neglected....or lacked a good father figure or some equally traumatic thing? if so i totally disagree with that viewpoint. i have a cousin that is the middle son...an older brother and a younger one. so how can that be? he had a loving family, one dad, one mother...2 sisters, raised on the farm...
poster, i think you should just cut out all the what ifs and ask him. as the other half of this relationship you have every right to know. and i think that would hold true whether it was males or females he was potentially "hooking up" with. this is dangerous and wrong. he whould be tested and you should be tested as well. one of you is not commited to this relationship and if i were you i would be out the door. good luck, mal
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A
female
reader, jada101 +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Its not nasty for him to like both sex but it is nasty for him to do it with people that he doesn't know. If it was me I would be askin this ? I would be lookin for a new boyfriend
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 No. He's more than curious.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): I don't think there is any statistical data or proof of home common it is for straight men to have sexual encounters with other men.
There is a difference between homosexual behavior and homosexual identity or orientation.
There are many reasons a man might seek out sex with other men, often it is a result of childhood truama being sexually abused by another male and the desire to have affection with other men that they didn't have in childhood with their father. Or there is sex addiction, substance abuse, high sex drive along with opportunity, experimentation, voyerurism, and so on.
I don't think it is common at all in the straight male population, I think it happens of course, but in no way could you say this is common for a straight male.
In reference to your boyfriend, I am surprised this doesn't bother you that he is advertising for sex wth men.
He may actually very confused about his sexual orientation, he may even be a sex addict and can't control his fantasies or behavior, but advertising for it on Craigslist is dangerous for a couple of reasons.
He may give you and himself a serious STD, he may be murdered. In my state there was a man who advertised a car for sale on Craig's list and agreed to meet some guys to show them the car, they killed him.
I am wondering why you would find his cheating with another man less of a problem for you than cheating with a woman. I would think it would be the opposite. I think it is most common for straight women to be totally turned off by something like this, either way it's cheating.
Do you want a relationship based on honesty and trust? Do you have any morals? No one ever seems to talk about morals anymore, just sex and what type it is, as if it is the most important question to be asking.
It's mind boggling and very sad.
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