A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with partner for 6 years, a year ago we had the kid conversation and it was brought up again recently.Whilst I'm willing to let nature it's course, he has told me he has dreams and aspirations he would like to achieve, It's put me in a strange place I'm 25 and he is 29, we're both stable financially, emotionally and in relationship terms, but I feel like it's left me out in the cold, I bring it up and he just goes quiet and then gives me half answers(meaning he never says yes or no)Is this worth it? I'm happy with him but I don't want this to be a regret, I'm so stuck. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (9 April 2015):
 P.S. It's okay for you to want to have kids and make a family. It's also okay for him to not want to have kids. What's NOT okay is to continue to avoid the question.
Just because you are younger than he is, doesn't mean that he is in charge of your life and your choices. So woman up. :)
Presumably after 6 years you have some sort of communication with one another?
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 April 2015):
What are his dreams and aspirations? What is he doing to achieve them?
What are your dreams and aspirations? Do they mesh with his and with his timetable? Do his mesh with yours and your timetable?
I agree with Honeypie, if he doesn't give you a yes or no answer, then take it as a "no."
Take back your power. By that, I mean, don't let him decide your future. If you want X then go for it. If he's not going to be part of it, then he's not going to be part of it.
You're only in a strange place if you allow yourself to be. You are in charge of your future and your life. When did you hand that over to him, exactly? Hm?
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (9 April 2015):
 Its time for a serious talk about the future. He's 29 and been with you for 6 years. He has to know whether you are the "one" or not by now. If he can't give you straight answers, then you might want to end things before you wind up waiting another 6 years.
My daughter got married very young at 18. I understand at that age that it was wise not to have children. Sadly, 13 years went by and her husband always had something going on and she was told "wait till we do this..wait till this happens". They got divorced with no children, which is probably a blessing in disguise, but now at almost 34 she has no children and is single again. I know its very upsetting for her.
If he can't give you a straight answer after all this time, you might want to end things.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 April 2015):
 I think it's fair enough that you sit him down and tell him, POINT blank I would like a YES or NO answer to whether you want kids WITH me within the next (let's say 2-3 years).
If he CAN'T give you a straight yes or no... I would take it as a NO.
There is ALWAYS some dreams or goals to pursue, and most people can't "pencil" in a child to these plans. So for him I'm sure he can ALWAYS think up an excuse to NOT have kids "right now"...
Then it's up to you to decide.
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