A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband cuddles with me and says that it's true intimacy, and that he is closer to me than to all those women he dated and had sex with. He has a history of having hot sex with unavailable women. Either she was a horny unhappily married wife or somebody he met online. He used women for sex in the past and said that he always had a dream to meet a nice woman and fall in love with her and have a family. Well, it seems I am that nice woman. The only thing is that this nice woman is an unhappily married one because her husband would rather do a million and one thing than find the time to have sex with his wife. It seems in bed he only wants to please me and get over with it. He gets easily infatuated with female superstars. He likes porn and magazines and webcam. But says he does it rarely because he'd rather do something else. He also says that he sometimes thinks of having sex with me but gets distracted by doing something else. He also says that I am too focused on sex and he does not think about it that often. Also, he says that sometimes he wished we had sex more often but because I bring sex topic up, it turns him off. I am confused. Please help me make sense of this situation. Also, he gets easily turned on and could stay hard forever but cannot come. And it's not a problem for him to stop while he is still hard because he says he won't be able to ejaculate past a certain point.
View related questions:
ejaculate, horny, met online, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, leonard j, Douglas  +, writes (20 December 2007):
The only sense in what is going on in your loveless relationswhip would be to get out of it,PDQ,Pretty-Damn-Quick. You have nothing going for you.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 December 2007):
 It seems to me that your husband has some distorted views on sexuality. It's always difficult to use the word "distorted" when giving an opinion about someone else, let alone someone I have never even seen, but, I think that is the right word in this case.
I see three possibilities here:
a) Your husband seems to need an element of unattainability. He needs to pursue an impossible dream, or then have sex with someone who won't possibly give him a little more than a few encounters. This is what I call "distorted", by the way. He prefers an impossible woman than a flesh-and-blood one he has by his side every night. An alternative would be, he is afraid of intimacy, so he can only function with someone who barely knows him.
I think your husband needs this sort of psychological "backup" in order to maintain his drive.
b) He has someone else and you don't know.
c) A combination of a) and b). He needs the impossible, or you're just "too close" and he doesn't want that sort of intimacy, so he has found either one with someone else.
Your comment that he can maintain an erection but then don't ejaculate makes me think there is really a psychological component to this.
The awful part is that I don't think he ever will take your needs into consideration. I'm afraid this is a dead-end, and you will need to decide what you do.
Think carefully and talk to him more seriously.
Take care.
...............................
|
