A
female
age
41-50,
*ishy fish
writes:hello everyone, i really need ur sincere advice, i met a guy when i was visiting my country , i met him through a common friend, but i always heard of him ever since i was a kid, he's 7 years older then me, not specifically handsome but very charming and funny. bottom line , he took my number and showed interest from day 1, i travelled the next morning, we live in different countries,but he kept on calling on a daily basis and told me that he wants a relationship with me, everything went well , he came to see me two weeks later , spent a weekend together, he went back to his country but kept calling and asking about me everyday telling me that he loves me, till i started having doubts , everytime i told him i want to come and visit him ,he used to change the subject , sometimes he ignored my late night messages, i made up my mind and went to see him on valentines weekend (after 1 month and a half of the realtion), he saw me 2 hours in 48 hours in his house, he didn't take me out, and pretended he's sick on valentine's eve even the night before he said he had to go to a neighbouring country for a business dinner, i knew something was wrong, so i turned cold , he called and called i just couldn't forget what he did and how i was treated, bottom line i travelled and he was calling and calling and apologizing, i asked him if he had anyone in his life, he denied it 5 times, to cut the story short, i saw a picture on facebook that shows him with a girl and one of my friends was in the background , so i called my friend and asked him about my boyfriend, he told me that he's been dating on and off the girl in the picture for the past 8 months, i confronted him , he apologized and said that he didn't mean to lie cause he fell for me and will leave everything for me, and he told me that he needs a chance to come and explain, he never came, but we kept in touch and he said he wants to take me on a trip to clear our minds and that he loves me. i'm naive i admit i like the guy so i didn't cut it with him , on the contrary i text him more than before and he reduced his texts and calls but still in touch. can someone please tell me what to do? and what do u think this guy wants? please ur advice is highly appreciated. xx
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female
reader, fishy fish +, writes (1 May 2010):
fishy fish is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Hi dear friends, i guess my luck with love matters is not at its peak this year! 2 months back i ended a short relation with a guy who lied to me about having a girlfriend and i decided to give a chance to a man who seemes really nice at start, he got in touch with me first through smallworld website and expressed his admiration and respect for me ( he watched me on tv), he was extremely respectful and classy unlike most of the sleezy mails i receive , i thanked him very politely, he was in touch with me at least 3 times per month for 4 months before we agreed to finally meet (after i finalized my break up with my ex), so we met and he was very sweet and gentleman, he said he wanted us to date , i gave him a hard time at first telling him that i don't want to be in a realtionship now and i was really moody at first one day expressing my care for him the next morning telling him i only want him as a friend, till i finally i fell for him and apologized for the rollercoster mood .
He spends 2 weeks of the month outside the country due to his work, i realized from day 1 that he's not good with time , meaning he's always late for dinners and plans, once i invited him home for dinner he came an hour and a half late. The problem started when he said he had a business dinner at 8pm and i saw hina at 10pm walking with a girl on the street, i went crazy and texted him immediately calling him a liar , and to ever call me again, he called me after that from his female friend number explaining that his mobile went out of battery and that's his best friend sarah ( it maDE SENSe to me ) so he was so mad that i called him a liar that he agreed that we should only be friends, and he said he wants to see me before he travels in3 days i accepted, the next morning we cooled down and restarted the love stream, but he called me the following morning to tell em that he's on his way to the airport heading to new york for 2 weeks and ever since he called me maybe once in 1o days ( he usually doesn't call a lot and that's why i was unstable with him) , and he ignores most of my texts . He still CALL ME baby but i feel there's a change, he disappears for 3 days without news or calls , even in his previous trips he did it but this time it's different. please tell me what to think and how to act? do u think he has a girlfriend there especially that he spends most of his time there? what to do?
A
female
reader, fishy fish +, writes (16 March 2010):
fishy fish is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thanks lexie, ur absolutely right, nothing is special about him if i think about it, i always heard he's a spoiled rich boy but he said he changed and wants to be with me. Whatever! a wonderful guy is after me, i met him in a very nice way, i interviewed him on tv ( i'm a news anchor), i've been declining his invitatios cause i was still hooked on the other one. maybe it's time for a change!
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (16 March 2010):
 This guy will continue using you if you let him. He's done it once and he knows you'll fall for it again, so he wil do it again.
Let me ask you, what's so special about him? A guy who lies to you, who ignores you and who is now playing with you. You can do so much better than this!
You need to think of your future realistically. Do you think, all romance stuff aside, that this guy could be a reliable boyfriend? Could you trust him? If not, then just let it go...move on and never look back. He lied to begin with, and he's lying even now...he's not going to leave anyone or anything for you. You say he's charming and funny...he sure knew how to get your attention...he probably does it with a lot of women, he knows what he's doing. He told you he loved you and he doesn't even know you that well.
You've texted him more now, he knows you want him and he's using it. Not because he's in love with you but because the attention you give him makes him feel really good about himself. Don't be his ego trip.
Ask yourself, do you want a nice and loving relationship, or do you want uncertainty, lies, mistrust and hurt? It's your choice. There are much better men out there.
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