A
female
age
41-50,
*iss miserable
writes:i'm 31 y-o woman, jobless and just got dumped by a divorcee who was an old buddy of me. the relationship went well until he came home to meet my parents, things really changed after that. after a couple of arguing, he changed his mind of getting married all of a sudden, and started avoiding me. he didnt even bother to answer my text messages or phone calls and kept giving lame excuses. if i got to talk to him, and said something that he didnt agree with, he would hang up the phone immediately, and whenever i tried to call back after that he wouldnt even answered. i always felt lonely and insecure in the relationship, coz of the way he made me feel, and the way i was being treated. there was a woman, who happpened to be an old buddy of him, and had close contact with my ex's mom, (this woman also had a crush on him since ages)kept telling tales about me to his mom, and she had negative impressions towards me. a few days after we broke up, he kept avoiding me, until my mom tried to talk to him. he told my mom that he couldnt be with me anymore bcoz his mim obviously didnt like me. ( i have never met his family). my mom and his ex wife's mom know each other. i heard so many versions from both party regarding their broken marriage but i was blinded by his stories. the marriage lasted for one year only , me and his ex wife's family live in the same hometown.i am so depressed and miserable, why all these happened to me? I feel like being cheated and fooled by him. Do you think he's actually gotten over his ex and ready for another commitment of marrying me as what he always promised before?Why on earth he changed his plan and attitude all of a sudden?Please advise :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, miss miserable +, writes (6 December 2009):
miss miserable is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGina: i agree with you.. me and my family wondered why he didnt introduce me to his mom/ family in the first place when we started being couple? if he did this, maybe his mom had different perception towards me ( as we already met people in person). i used to question him, in d early stage of d rship, could his family accept me cos im jobless at the moment ( just finished my post-grad), and the fact that his ex was far more better than ( looks and career).but he assured that everything would be okay.
..i wonder if its really 3rd party.. or .. he might cheated on me ( we were in long distance relationship).i didnt really get to see him often, about twice a month.
CaringGuy: I dunno if "the mom reason" is concrete enough.. basically if a guy loves a woman he would do anything to make everything possible.. he didnt even take the risk to confront his mom and back me up!
I really feel like have been betrayed by the person I love the most, its hard to let go cos we used to sleep together a few times, and sexually engaged ( we didnt even make love though, but still its forbidden in our religion). I thought I could trust him, just to find out in the end that he just wanted to fool me around......
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (5 December 2009):
I know it's hard on you, and I'm sure you're feeling bad. But let's face it, he's no knight in shining armour. If he let his jealous friend and his mother influence him about you, then he's a very weak man who doesn't deserve you. It's not you at all, it's him. If he can't live his own life with the woman he loves because of his own jealous friend and mother, then he's not worthy.
You now need to be very brave and focus on yourself for a while. Be as strong as you can, have fun and eventually you will meet a man who will truly care about you.
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