A
female
age
30-35,
*ourenotsorry
writes:So this guy and i have been friends for about one and half years now. Our friendship was amazing for the first year but for the past six months it's been confusing and hurtful but we always fix the problems. However, when we were friends i would always be the one to fix the problem even if it wasnt his fault. Like i would be the first one to go up to him and ask what is wrong. We were close friends. hugging, flirting. He's the first boy i've ever given a chance to come so close to me. I let him in. He told me he acted like a jerk somtimes because he didn't see a relationship because i held back too much. So i was like ok, lets try it, a relationship i won't hold back as much. So we started dating on dec 29. He actually gave me my first kiss, which was really important to me. I did all this behind my parent's back because i'm not allowed to date. But i really really really like this boy. So i went against mmy parents and religion for him. So right after winter break, i saw him in school and the first day it was great. We held hands and kissed. The second day i went over to talk to him and he was like i'm tired and i was like oh okay. I just wanted to see him. But he was like go talk to david because he likes you more. And i said what does that mean?..he didn't answer..just looked at me. i got very upset. so i just left. So that night i got on facebook, aim, myspace, and he didn't message me at all. He would flirt with all these other girls on facebook/myspace. He wouldn't talk to me at all. I really wanted to but just couldn't message him, i was upset about how he told me off in the morning. So he stopped sitting where he sat in the morning in school. I haven't seen him since. I waited like a week for him to contact me and he didn't. So i deleted him of facebook because his flirting crap would be on my newsfeed.i still kept him on myspace. So one day i was going to comment on his myspace when i saw his comments. He was trying to hook up with sophmore chick, btw i'm a senior. I was so HURT. he didn't even care, and was already finding a replacement. after like 4 more days he deleted me off myspace. that really really really hurt because it was my last source of connection to him. So he didn't go out with the sophmore chick, but he made it clear he wanted through his comments on myspace. yes, i cybertalked him..LOL. So its been almost 17 days we haven't talked. I really really really miss him. I don't know what happened between us. it really hurts. i want to go over and talk to him. but a part of me is holding me back.Well i put my pride aside and added him on facebook. i also attached this message "i think we should talk. i promise i won't bite:P..lol..this is just so stupid..just so you know this was very hard for me to do..so please don't do anything stupid like block me..avoiding the situation is dumb...i just want one conversation..i believe i Deserve at least that much after everything...after all the chances I gave you..i get that you're not interested anymore but i don't deserve this silent treatment. i hate it when people ignore me..i don’t understand what happened between you and me and it really hurts…You said we were more friends than anything. I should’ve talked to you sooner but you just disappeared. I hope you understand that it's killing me inside. If you’re my friend then you’ll tell me the truth, so I can move on please.". He added me. We didn't talk that night, another day passed we didn't talk. I had been busy those two days, i really thought he would talk to me since i took the first step. instead i found out that i got blocked the next day i logged on. IT REALLY REALLY HURTS. i put my pride aside and asked him to talk to me. Why is he doing this?. I didn't even do anything? Why did he add me if he didn't want to talk. I really don't deserve this. what am i supposed to do? he was my first crush, love, and first kiss. this boy meant alot to me. I spent so much time and effort in this relationship and he doesn't even care. I was a good friend. i just don't know what happened. and he won't tell me. how can you push someone so close to you so far away? i think i might die from the rejection, embarassment and basically beecause i put my pride aside and asked him to talk to me. I've never met someone so selfish. can someone just tell me what to do or something that will help me feel better please?
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female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (25 January 2010):
 Nothing is going to make you feel better, you were hurt and that sucks, but it is part of life. He was a jerk, ther are a lot of jerks out there. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. If you want to talk to him then tell him he's a jerk and he doesn't deserve one minute of your time. I know it's not easy, just mark it off as part of growing up and don't lead with your heart and emotions next time. Before you invest yourself into someone again, make sure there worth your effort. Good luck, now mark him off and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2010): hey, im really sorry about what happend, but seriously darlin, you have to move on. something similar had happend to me and i explained it to my grandmother and she understood me. talk to someone you trust. And move on. talk to other guys. it might still hurt, but it wont as much as it hurts now. good luck -SAMAARA.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 January 2010):
 I am sorry your first kiss left you bitter memories. He is probably regretting everything right now. Either he is not ready for a relationship or he likes another girl more. It is a shame that he rather disappear than explain this to you. He couldn't be your friend because he is afraid you would always expect more. Once you kissed, you crossed over the line and he can't see you as a friend anymore. He was constantly dropping you hints but you didn't allow yourself to believe what you just heard. So for him no more explanation was needed. He's hooking up with other chicks to avoid facing the pain he had caused.
People put so much emphasis on first kiss, first boyfriend and first sex but 10 years later when you look back, none of that really matters. Resist the urge to hate him, to think he's a bad person. He is probably hurting too. In the mean time, write a letter (then burn it later) telling him you had a great time, sorry it didn't work out, we were both too impatient, it was nobody's fault, wish you well and goodbye.
Totally forget him and do something nice for yourself, watch a comedy, eat nice food, read self books, etc.
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