A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey.I am 17.I met a guy on a gaming website 6 months ago. We played games and there was a chat box there too.. So we chatted and played for a month. He is 22. I told him where I lived after a month and found out that he lived in the same area as me. As I had some religiuos restrictions. I couldnt meet up with him or anything. Then I found out that he had the same religion as me.I talked to him on the phone for a month after that. Then I built up the courage to tell my mum as I never had a boyfriend before that. Everything was fine. My mum gave me permission to go out on a date with him. As my mum talked to him on the phone. On my date. he comes to my bus stop... he has a car... steps out this hot guy with muscle and probably six packs. I never saw his picture so I was confused. He walks up to me and asks my name.. So i tell him and then I realise its him... I sit in the car with him.. He takes me on a long drive.. Then to his house.. Where his mom cooked a meal... Then after 5 hours. We headed back to where i lived... It was 10 in the night... and My mum called like a millions time... as i already sed because of my religiuos values... So anyways he stops and goes inside a dark alleyway... looks at my way... turns the music on and higher... which was very romantic...Then he leans in and tries to kiss me... As I had my religiuos values in mind... and it was my first time dating... I was very nervous and scared.. So i turned my face around... He said i will kiss you on the cheek... But i was scared, as it was late... dark, cold... and i was terrified by the fact that i might get raped... I just kept my head turned around... Then he leaned back...I turned and looked at him.. he was looking gorgoeus as ever... But still I couldnt do it... Then.. He put the car in drive... All the ride home.. he didnt speak to me... And then when he was about to drop me off on my bus stop... He said to me that I known him for about 5 months...but still didnt kiss him meant that I didnt trust him and that we should just stay friends... I said thats not the matter and I am just shy... So he said oh ok I can understand that but the way that I was behaving made him felt as I didnt trust him... So When I got off... and started walking off... He called my name and said out loud that he loved me... I remained silent.... smiled at him and walked off...Then the next day.. I didnt recieve any calls... because the first thing in the morning that he did was call me or text me .. but that day he didnt... and then for two weeks I kept texting and calling him but didnt get a response... then i gave upAnd then a month later now... Yesterday he called me up when I was standing at the bus stop and said to me that he could see me.. I asked him where but he didnt reply... Just said.. You didnt kiss me.. its not that you were shy... its just u didnt have faith in me... And didnt say anything and hanged up...Since yesterday I am calling him and texting him.. He hasnt replied... And 20 minutes ago... he left me a message saying that he loves me... and said that i shouldnt call him or text him because his phone isnt with him... now.... for a couple of days...and plus i shouldnt ever meet up with him again... if i dont let him kiss me... or let him touch my body.. he said he understands if i dont let him touch some parts.. but he wants to touch over my stomach.. meaning my boobs... and also let him suck them... and now i am uncomfortable as I am religiuos and dont want these things before marraige.. (We promised each other before meeting up that we will marry each other) ...Now I have a question... did he just want me for my body.... (but he could have done it with a slut and wouldnt have asked me)... or he loves me like crazy and wants me to trust him blindly and let him do what he wants to me... Or if he loved me.. where was he for a whole month??? Or he was with some one for a month and when was dumped or broke up with some one else... he came back to me as he knows i love him and is emotionally black mailing me???? Help me please..
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boobs, broke up, muscle, never had a boyfriend, shy, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI replied to his message that he left me two days ago and i responded to it by saying that Its not that I dont trust you but I have some religiuos values in me that I should abide by... And you have the same faith as me then how are u asking me to do such things... And its better that you find some one else to do these things with and not follow me to my bus stop. And I will always love you because my love wasnt physical... It was pure and it always will be... You are my first love and you always will be... But I dont think to prove my love I have to do these things or to show faith in you..... I think its better that we dont talk, text or meet each other at all... Good Bye For good..
(This was my message to him).
But my another question is that the fact that he introduced me to his mother... and said before meeting that someday he would marry me... (does it still mean that he was in love with me or just using me to get with him? Or he was interested in me thats why he introduced me to his mum.. does it mean that at all... or I love him too much not to see the negative side)...
But thanks for your help as its finished now anyways after the message I left him.. :(
But thanks for your help.. I really appreciate it,, and it helped me realise his negative side.. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2011): If hes of your religion then he should have been glad that you refused to kiss him on a first date. If you had allowed him to kiss you, he would have brought up the fact that you were being promiscuous. The fact that hes watching you at the bus stop and telling you not to contact him, makes him sound rather strange. Maybe it would be an idea to talk to your mother and ask her opinion. And in the meantime avoid the bus stop that he knows you use. Im not trying to alarm you but you dont really know him or any issues that he might have. And watching you while you are out, could be a red flag that all is not well with him.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 This boy has problems and I think you should stay away from him. His behavior seems somewhat immature and strange. Do not let him make you feel guilty, you are abiding by your faith and you should not let anyone force you away from it. If he did care about you he would not be warping your words and forcing his own false truths upon you. Trying to tell you that you were lying or trying to tell you that you do not have faith in him simply because you did not let him kiss you, it is despicable. Stay away from him.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, HondaTohru  +, writes (1 January 2011):
 It's very easy to lie on the Internet. You're absolutely right not to trust him, and if you want to pursue the relationship, tell him you want to get to know him better in person before doing anything physical. If he refuses, then he was really only there to use you, and you should let him go.
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