A
female
age
41-50,
*andrine
writes:good evening I don't know how to say that and I know I am an understandable person but it really bothers me that my boyfriend likes to chat with other girls online and when I told him how do I feel about that, he assures me that there is absolutely nothing I should worry about and they are merely friends no more no less. He wants from me to be just okay with that!how come, I mean the more I think about it, the worse it gets in my head. Oh God. It can be very annoying and now I feel it's really affecting my relationship with him that I am seriously thinking of breaking up!Believe me I tried hard to accept that but nothing!Every time I read their jokes and comments to each other I can't help it not to get pissed.It's not only a matter of jealousy or insecure it's also the idea of having a good time with others than me.specially girls! besides how can I be so sure that none of those girls will catch his attention? Can't stand the idea of waiting for the day he dumps me for them! I will be left devastated.I really need help. I am I overreacting? Should I accept that and not bring up the subject again?? and how? What I supposed to do? please tell me.Thanks in advance.P.SI met my boyfriend through a chat site. X(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2008): i am having the saame problem with my fiance.. and yes i met him on a site as well... we have been together for 2 years now.. in the begining it was all about me.. slowly things changed i am not a jelouse or insecure person myself.. but i dont want him chatting with other girls myself.. i tried every way possible to stop him fighting.. silence ect etc... you name it i did it.. he say's that they are just friends.. but i have been going crazy playing investigator trying to find out what really is going on.. my best suggestion to you is tell him you know that they are just friends but still it bothers you because you are not doing anything like that to hurt him or your relationship.. so what gives him the right to do so.. also dont take it to the heart beacause im sure as long as you know and he knows that you are the girlfriend and they are just friends then you dont need to worry about anything.. im stuck in this sittuation myself... what im doing now is giving him his space and taking things one day at a time.. but i will pray for the both of us to come out of this misery beacause believe me i know how you feel.. start taking care of yourself.. find something to do that you like.. start chatting with your friends so he will know how you feel.. if he objects then throw the same lame excuse he gave you.. that they are just friends.. i know 2 wrongs dont make a right but what he is doing is not right either,and he knows its effecting you and the relationship yet he still doesnt care then why should you..if you have any progress let me know maybe we both can help each other.. take care..
A
female
reader, petina1  +, writes (29 November 2008):
 So thats how he met you. Now he's got you, why does he feel the need to carry on chatting online to girls. He should focuss all his energies on you and give these other women up. It is obviously an un fulfilled need or desire in him, like a habit and an obsession, and since he has a 'real woman' in his life he needs to kick the other 'habit'
The only other solution if he doesnt think anything is wrong if for you to start chatting men up on line and see how he likes it. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Kathh +, writes (29 November 2008):
 You say that you've read their comments and jokes - what do they say? Is it purely jokey? Does he have equal amounts of male and female friends?I would feel uncomfortable with this in your shoes having met your bf online as well but you have to remember he is with YOU! not them. If he was playing away surely he wouldn't be so open and honest with the fact he was in touch with other woman?Hang on in ther I'm sure someone better qualified will be along very soon to help you x x
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