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female
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anonymous
writes: I'm going through a really rough time at the mo and I don't feel i'm getting support from my friends or family. My bf supported me and made me forget my troubles but we broke up nearly 2 months ago. But we've been talking again, he got in touch and flirted and said he wants to meet up. The thing is, when we're flirting he says all kinds of amazing things about my appearance and my sexual ability, but nothing about my personality or anything a little deeper. We were sex buddies for a while, but he's already said that it was really bad for our relationship so I don't think he wants to be back there again. But it keeps playing on my mind. Does he want me or my body? Would he go out with me again just to use me for sex? And if I know this but go along with it anyway, does it really matter? We have a lot of history together, and surely after a while what we had will rekindle and it would mean more to him than just physical. I really need him to make me smile again, and talking to him again has done that, but I need more.
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female
reader, marie78 +, writes (20 November 2006):
I know what you're going through. Don't allow yourself to be used. It's easier said than done. You guys can be friends but make sure you set boundaries. If he doesn't want a relationship with you, then believe him, and make a decision for yourself. If I were you, I'd move on. He's not worth it! Good luck!
A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (19 November 2006):
 The point here is that you already feel completely uncomfortable with this situation.... The answer to your question is yes.... If you know that he doesn't want to be in a relationship but does still like you for sex and you let him have sex with you.... then that is what he will do honey.
If you feel as though all he compliments is your body and ability rather then your personality then you shoud hold out until you feel repsected by him. It's quite obvious that you wnat a relationship and are uncomfortable now with being his sex buddy. So it is up to you now to set the boundaries. You've got to be strong and tell him how you feel.
Try asking him out straight what he wants and if he sees a future between you. Tell him what you want and also say that you don't want to keep having this casual sex. Once you have said that you will need to stick to your guns for him to take you seriously.
I think that you may have already know all of this anyway and are just now looking for some support or re-assurance that if you now start to draw boundaries that that is accetable. And it is is acceptable.... You can call the shots any time you please with someone or something that makes you unhappy.
Good luck with it all and I hope this helps.
Sexybum xoxo
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