A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Back in high school my boyfriend used to smoke pot (we werent together yet). We are now both 19, and been dating for 5 months. He hasnt smoked weed in about a year. At the beginning of our relationship I strictly said that I dont want him smoking pot or ANYTHING at all while we are together. He swore that he would not. I believed him for a while. It seemed like everything was going fine, he never smelled like weed or tobacco, and neither did his house. 2 days ago I walked in on a bong on bedroom table. i dont know how long he has been hiding it from me, or secretly smoking. i confronted him, and him demeanor immediately changed. He turned pale, started changing subjects, and couldnt look me in the eyes. For the rest of that day i could see nothing but gloom and shame in his face. I dont know what to do now... How can I trust him now?? He is not the same person anymore! :( I've been crying for the past 48 hours, non stop. Should I just break it off? i love him so much! :( this is so hard... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): Are you serious? You are so upset about him smoking pot that you have been crying for 48 hrs?? It's not like he's snorting cocaine and abusing you, has he? Is the worst thing that he has done? Wow, if you really can't handle cannabis that much, that it's the worst thing in the world, you should just go ahead and leave. The only thing you should be upset about is him lying to you, but the way you set rules I would lie to. You need to work on your issues with strict rules and boundaries, no man wants to be nagged by some uptight female.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Cannabis can affect mental stability and can cause fertility problems...
So can alcohol and tobacco....
You may be anti-drugs, but you get nowhere giving out unscientific statements that are not backed up by research... the fertility problems are caused by the tobacco used, and has nothing to do with marijuana.... Scientists are still trying to find out if people with existing mental problems abuse drugs or does the drug cause mental problems in certain people...
For your information, alcohol, tobacco and caffeine (in coffee) are all drugs, so that makes most of the worlds population "druggies", according to you..
Tell people your anti-drugs and give out your advice, but stop spreading ignorant scary lies...
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (11 April 2010):
You can't trust him. He is a druggie, and that's it. He never really changed at all. I don't blame you for not wanting drugs in your life. Cannabis can affect mental stability and can cause fertility problems. You're better off without him. Don't think he will change either. He won't. He is who he is. So if you don't want cannabis on your life, and he does, you need to let him go.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): well for one thing the fact that you have smoking pot such a nono and a large issue from the word go(not that im saying its ok to take) has probably pushed him from making it tabo so to speak. I also take it that your partners friends probably take these drugs too, so for the simple fact that he has lasted roughly 5months without doing these drugs to the extent he did previously is at least something. Do not expect that he has been doing this for months behind your back because you said it your self he did not explain what is going on, try talking to him because what your thinking and worrying about may not be the truth, it may just be a friends or something which he used once. Dont jump to conclusions and talk it out with him, no need to throw a relationship away over this, but ofk if he has lied and kept this in the shadows for months which i feel you fear then maybe he isnt the right type of person for you if this is apart of his life already.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): You can't tell your bf that he can't smoke pot. It's up to him. If you don't like him doing it, tell him and if he does it any way, dump him. It is his choice if he wants to smoke, in the same way you have your own habits.
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