A
female
age
30-35,
*ilverbee
writes:My boyfriend knows I have very low self estyeem, and knows how much it hurts me to hear him say how pretty he thinks another girl is. He told me he will stop, but of course like a lot of guys they don't stick to what they say unfortunetly. He continues to say what he wants to say about those other girls, but he hasn't said anything like "wow", or your beautiful like he does those other girls. It hurts that he says it infront of me. I know that theirs no point of telling him beacuse their will be no change. I already feel ugly enough as it is, and he's just making it worse. I am not happy, I can no longer feel even somewhat pretty around him.... And I just don't know what to do. No girl should have to feel this way when she's with her boyfriend... :(
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 September 2010):
If he treats you this way, knowing you have self esteem, then you need to leave. You can't and mustn't sit there being hurt by this guy. You're right, no girl should have to go through this. In which case, set the standard and leave him. He clearly won't change.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): Why dont you cange the way you feel about yourself rather than moaning at him that "hes not making you feel good".
Nobody can MAKE you feel anything.
Just the fact that hes with you should let you know that he thinks your attractive and the kind of girl he wants to be with. If he wanted someone else, he would be with someone else..
Stop letting yourself feel this way. You have the free-will to feel the way you want to, so use it.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (3 September 2010):
 I am curious to know why you stay with him. Is there no one else who makes you feel beautiful? It sounds as though your boyfriend has no respect for you. The right guy would make you feel confident. Whatever the reason for your loyalty to this man, you need to weigh the pros and cons. Does he make you feel good at all? If not, you should break up with him and spend some time by yourself, do some 'soul searching' so you can show yourself how beautiful you are.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010): That is completely disrespectful of him.
Everyone discreetly admires other people than their partner, its normal to notice attractive people, but it is so not ok for him to tell them or go on about their assets in front of you. That is bad manners to begin with, and as you have clearly pointed out that it makes you unhappy but he has continued regardless of your feelings and decent social behaviour, either he's a boorish oaf or a self-centred cad my dear - neither of which is a good catch by any stretch of the imagination. Get rid of him. Now. You sound very sweet and I'm sure you will meet someone else who has manners and cares about your feelings.
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