A
female
age
,
*londecatlover
writes:I am on an internet dating site. There is a guy who has emailed me about 30 times. He has asked me out on several occasions, i have almost run out of excuses for not accepting.I am not attracted to him but he seems to be obsessed by me. Should i go on a date with him just to keep him happy? I don't like hurting his feelings. He seems a nice enough guy but if i dont fancy him , is there any point? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, RobL +, writes (24 August 2009):
 If I was that man, and you were only going out with me because you don't like to hurt my feelings, I would be devastated. Yes, the truth might hurt him, but it will certainly hurt a lot less now than months down the line if you were to continue to lie to him. Tell him there's nothing doing.
Rob
A
female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 HELL NO. If you go out with him you are asking for trouble. Look at it this way, he is a man who does not understand no. Do you really want to have a relationship with a man who wants to have it his way, all the time? Plus, if you say yes now, he will know that all he needs to do is keep asking and you will give in.
If he cared about your feelings he would have accepted that you're not interested. So, why care about his when he is OK with trampling all over yours? There is no point to dating a guy like that, those are the types who end up stalking and killing women.
STAY AWAY!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2009): NO, tell him no, and if he keeps it up block him.
If you go out with him your going to make it worse...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 August 2009):
 You need to flat out just tell him you are not interested. This goes beyond normal attraction to someone, he is clearly an obsessive type! Like the other person said, if you actually accepted, he might actually resort to stalking or simply become unbearably clingy. Cut off contact with him now. The internet is a good place for creepy people to act "nice" to lure people in. You actually use the word obsessed. Why would you want to make someone who's obsessive happy with you? It's not mean to tell him you're just not interested, it's actually nicer than leading him on. As women we are conditioned to always be polite and kind, despite red flags that we ignore. You don't want any sort of real involvement with someone who is oblivious to your wants (if you get brushed off 30 times, you should be able to take a hint). Don't even start with an apology, simply say, I'm not interested.
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A
female
reader, Jayney Y  +, writes (21 August 2009):
 Hi,
If you think he's obsessive at the moment, imagine what he might be like if you actually go out with him. Maybe if you just be honest and tell him you think he seems nice but you're not attracted in 'that way' you may end up with a good friend. Then again you may end up with a mad stalker on your hands....Good luck :)
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