A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a few months. We are currently living 280 miles apart and he isn't as excited to see me when I come to visit (I only get to visit once a month) it seems that our spark is starting to fade I want to save our relationship. He did ask me to marry him before I left and of course I said yes. He says i'm not the bubbly girl he fell in love with but he is no longer the sweet romantic man I fell in love with either. PLEASE HELPDesperate for a fresh start
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, ams +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Well normally people get into a "comfort zone" when they have been with someone for a while. People dont try as hard as when they were first dating because they figure they already have the person, they no longer need to impress them. This is normal and happens to almost everyone. Try new things together, go new places. Get out of your comfort zones together, this way you will see new sides of each other. Hopefully good ones.
Try spicing it up a little too. Go out and buy some sexy lingerie. Then the night before you come to see him tell him you have a surprise for him, but dont say what it is! Then surprise him with you all prettyed up and fiesty! Maybe he will get the hint and surprise you with a fancy dinner the next visit! =) Its not over yet! Good luck and i hope this helped!
A
female
reader, pastfirst +, writes (4 January 2009):
 He seems to have got used to not having you around.
Monthly visits are not enough to maintain a relationship. Perhaps you could stay with him for a longer period to see if there's any feeling left.
Otherwise call it off and get on with your life, as hard as this may be.
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A
female
reader, mylonleyself +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Geez, I was in the same exact situation a few months back. He ended up breaking up with me. I tried talking to him, but he said everything was fine... guess he lied. Just try to be yourself and try to be all bubbly like you were once with him. I wish you the best luck with that.
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A
male
reader, Western3589 +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Do somthing he would enjoy alot. Start being bubbly and ask him to be sweet and romantic again.
if not that spend more time with him and try your best to please him, not phiscally.
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A
female
reader, lovebs +, writes (4 January 2009):
Long distance relationships take even more effort than normal ones do, which I am sure you already know. Its hard to remain the people you were when you fell in love because you don't always see each as much, so the spark sometimes fades. Not to mention that we don't always remain who we were when we fall in love because we go through transitions of comfort and reality. Next time you visit, try something new. Try to surprise him with a nice dinner or try to do something different. In long distance relationships things can tend to get "old" very fast and especially for us women because we tend to get very needy. We worry about him cheating or being around other women. Its totally natural seeing as though we are territorial with our men. You have to keep things interesting, but he also needs to understand that he needs to surprise you too and work just as hard as you. The fact that he loved you enough to be willing to put a ring on your finger should evidence enough. Just know that you shouldn't have to change for anyone. Yes, we should make certain sacrifices but remain yourself. Its easy to get discouraged, which might be why he says you aren't the bubbly girl he fell in love with. When you doubt yourself, your relationship and your love for each other, its hard to retain the way things are. Do something extraordinary for him, and if he doesn't thank you, or make you feel like a queen for doing it, then its time to have a serious talk.
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (4 January 2009):
 The best way to overcome this issue is to TALK TO HIM.
You say you have both changed and the spark is fading?It's natural for you to hit a dry spot or drought.
Try switching things up!Buy some sex toys or kinky lingerie and surprise him.Or jump him as soon as you see him.
Go on little dates as if you had just started dating.Go on walks around parks and small other things that are romantic.
It's natural to hit a dry period where the spark is seeming to fade.Successful marriages are successful because the couple manages to keep igniting the spark.If you truly love him you should talk to him about it and try new things weather it's sex or even small dates.
I hope my advice was worthy,I'm only an 18 year old virgin...
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