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It feels like i have to put all the effort in this relation!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2007)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been with my partner for 15 years and we keep arguing about the same things, he says he will change but then nothing happens or if it does it's only for a while. he isn't a bad person but it feels like I have to put all the effort in. He won't learn to drive. I do most of the housework and am the main wage earner. He never takes me out unless it is with friends. He promises that we would do something romantic and then finds an excuse not to, but is happy to go along with it if i make the effort. I also feel like it is me nagging him. Is it time to call it a day?

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A female reader, Tray-Lou United Kingdom +, writes (25 August 2007):

A relationship is a two way thing thats how they work both people have to put effort in to make their relationship good if only one person does you may as well be on your own, most relationships fail because no one will put the effort to make it stay alive and thats how relationships stay strong if you work together share things together make sure you do things together as a couple and keep it romantic and hot but if this stops happening you should walk away especially if you;ve tried to tell them to change and accept equal responsibility in the relationship because it is a two way street.

He doesn't sound like he really wants a relationship if he can't be bothered to make the effort cause thats the fun of a relationship, he sounds like he just wants somebody there to do the things that you do and will never really appreciate it.

i think you should find someone who cares enough about you to make you feel special and like a woman

good luck honey

xxxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (24 August 2007):

kenny agony auntRelationships are about being equal, working as a team, a partnership.

When one person is doing all the work, like the housework, and bringing in the money sooner or later its just going to get to much for you, or anyone for that matter to cope with. You are doing all the cleaning, all the driving, and on top of all that you are the one bringing in the money too.

I think he has got to comfortable with you doing all the work, but i think now is time for you to make a stand.

If you want this relationship to work then talk to him, tell him he has got to get up off his a**se and muck in and help you. Tell him you are sick of nagging him and you are at breaking point, be firm and don't be a pushover.

I really do think if this fails then i would consider throwing in the towl and calling it a day.

All the best x

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