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How do I tell if I have low self-esteem?

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Question - (24 August 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 August 2007)
A female United States age 30-35, *cool4u writes:

It's a weird question i know but i'm making sure... cause i care about what people think of me. One of my guy friends thinks that i have low self esteem... but i really think i have high self esteem, i just don't show it as much as others. I just wanna know how do i tell if i have low self esteem... if i do.

Thanks

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007):

How can you tell if you have low self-esteem? People with low self-esteem will often blame themselves when something goes wrong, but give the credit to someone else when the other person does something right. People with low self-esteem often have a lot of trouble accepting a compliment, even when they do something right, themselves. They usually feel quite uncomfortable, edgy and embarrassed about recieving praise. They are very hard on themselves, constantly. They also put themselves down. In situations where they are not at fault, they feel guilt and shame. They also tend to apologize all the time to others, for everything. I used to know a girl in high school who had a wonderful sense of humor, but whenever she said something really, really funny, she apologized after! It took her years to understand that she was an incredibly smart, witty,warm person and people loved her charm. She just had to grow,mature and realize, she did deserve the praise. Low self-esteem is actually very closely tied to depression and sadness, a common thing with teens. I would say, if someone your age feels like their self-esteem is in the dumpsters, they should tell their parent who can have them checked out for depression. However, don't worry about what your friend said to you. You are young, and friendships and how people think of us is important in pre-teen/teen social circles. Just be gracious, positive and happy. Try not to let other people's comments get you down. If you can just take what others say 'with a grain of salt'...then you really do have good self-esteem. Good luck.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (24 August 2007):

kenny agony auntIf you have a low self esteem, which im sure you have not you are very unsure of yourself, unconfident and a lack of motivation.

I think you are to young to be worrying about whether you have a low self esteem or not. Don't feel down just because a boy assumes you have one, how does he know. Its how you feel in yourself that counts. You said your self you think you have a high self esteem, so you prpbably have.

Relax, enjoy being young, and have fun, and don't worry what people think of you, more importantly what you think of them.

All the best x

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