A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am a 17 year old girl who is in love with a guy who is 25. We've been good friends for about 6 months, and began having a secret relationship 2 months ago because I knew my mother would forbid me to see him otherwise. She recently found out about my secret, and has foribidden me to talk to him or see him. Her reasons were the age gap, and the fact that I'm going into medicine after high school and have a lot of major goals in my life, while he lives on a farm and repairs furnaces for a living. She says that it would never work because we are too different, from 2 different 'worlds'. I'm in love with him and he loves me. How do I get her to get over the age gap and accept that I love him? And how do I get her to realize that 2 people from different backgrounds can still love each other? I've tried to explain myself and ask her to give it a chance, but she will have none of it. Is there anything else I can do? I don't know if I can let him go...I've never felt this way about anyone before and have been involved in other serious relationships. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): First off, you should certainly try work things out with your mother. Try to make her understand the true extent of your feelings, how much that man means to you. After all (assuming he does mean a lot to you) you can legally do whatever you want as you turn 18, ignoring your parents' opinions/threats. So let your mother know that things would work out best for everyone if she accepts the man, instead of you going into a serious conflict later on...
A
female
reader, userid  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 This is a tough one. What type of reputation does he have? The problem with this is parents are looking at it and asking themselves- "What does a 25 year old MAN want with a 17 year old girl who isn't even legal yet?" It is tough. I have been in your situation before, trust me. It is really strange for me to be giving you the advice I once never wanted to hear...but you have to understand your mother is looking out for you...she does not want you to get hurt and as harsh as she may sound...she is doing it out of love. My suggestion... ask her if she would sit down and talk to him...if she won't...do you now any of her friends or maybe even your dad or siblings that may be able to sit down and talk to her?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2007): It's a hard call. For every wonderful couple who happen to have a similar age gap there are probably a hundred horror stories. I've known many girls who claim their older man is the best thing to ever happen to them, only to have them ruin their lives/break their hearts. She sees a man with her little girl and thinks "he's using her, etc". She has reason to be concerned. It's a natural reaction to protect you. I think it can only be solved by giving it time, and hopefully if you're with him when ur 25 or something, she'll see what you see.My immediate advice would be, don't change college plans for him or allow him to hurt any promising future. Don't go to a lesser school to be with him or anything like that. But that should be a rule for all young girls. Even if he's a wonderful guy he might not be your one and only.
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