A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I met this wonderful person 6 months back. He was really after my look initially from what I interpret now. I told him at this time that I am type 1 diabetic and he said he didnt mind it. I asked him to ask his mom as I knew his parents might oppose. His mom did oppose a bit but he convinced me that it is ok and diabetes is not a show stopper. He wanted to commit to me rightway. However his parents wanted to see a doctor. One of those doctors they met really discouraged them and told them about all kinds of diseases that diabetics mostly do get. He suggested that he shouldnt marry me. At this point though my boyfriend still felt he could convince his parents and was very hopeful that things would work out. He didnt want to give up. Finally months went by and recently his parents came down to his house and asserted that he must not marry me. He told me that he is tired of fighting them constantly, and since his mom repeatedly tells him negative things about diabetes, he too has started believing them.Now he is very unsure and he asked me for a break up a couple of times. He says he is scared about diabetes and also I had a relationship in the past which annoys him now and then. Basically he isnt sure about me anymore and hardly calls me (he used to call me all day before). But when I told him how upset I am about the breakup he said he doesnt want to breakup but cannot promise anything and there is good probability that things wont work out. I am very sad now, but I still have some hope left. I am confused if I should consider this the end of our relationship and end things completely or still wait for him to make up his mind and be sure about me? I do feel we are very compatible and we usually never have any arguments. We were quite happy till his mom interfered. He is quite a mammas boy though.. I doubt if he could go against her. moreover she influnces his opinion too and he is not sure about me now. What should I do? Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2011): your bf is awesome, don't break up please.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for your suggestions! Your responses really helped me gain some perspective..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): The diabetes may just serve as a great "filter" for you to keep the lower quality guys away. It is certainly a small factor compared to love. While it is true that there can be complications in the future, mainly if it isn't tightly controlled, absolutely no one knows their medical future. He could be diagnosed with something far worse than diabetes tomorrow, or could experience a life-changing injury. Granted, there may be quite a few guys that would need to learn a little more about diabetes. But, if after given a chance to learn, they choose not to, then the "filter" has worked, and it's time to move on to someone with a little deeper character. In my humble opinion, a guy that doesn't have the courage to deal with it obviously doesn't have the guts that you do, and perhaps not the courage he'll need to deal with life in general. I wish you the best. You sound like a sweetheart. (By the way, I don't think I would ever want to go to their family doctor! Sounds like he needs to be updated a bit.)
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A
female
reader, Amdz  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 I could barely get through reading your post without being ANGRY at your boyfriend and his senseless parents! You deserve someone WAY better than him, and someone who is not as fickly and insensitive and ridiculous to base all of his feelings and decisions on what his parents may or may not think! I'm assuming he's about your age, thus older than 25....He really doesn't sound like that great of a catch! Honey, move on and find someone who will treasure you and who you are! And someone who has the heart to KNOW that you are not your illness...You have diabetes, and that, I am sure, has many challenges and can be quite difficult at times...but you are so much more than your diagnosis. He needs to get a grip! And I suggest that you find someone more compassionate and human! There are people out there much better than this guy and his family....
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