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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now--depending on when you count the relationship as starting. I don't see him very often because he lives 30 minutes away, and our schedules don't usually allow it. I see him about 1-3 times a month. We ususally talk over the phone or the internet. The problem is just that everything is moving so slowly. It took us 2 months of flirting before we ever cuddled. It took us a month of cuddling before we ever kissed. It took 3 months of kissing before we ever touched eachother underneath clothing. After a month of that, we finally had oral sex. Now, over a year later from the start of it all, we still haven't had intercourse. I want to do it, but he's just taking it so slowly. He knows I'm ready and that I've been ready for quite some time. We communicate just about every day, so it's not like we don't know eachother very well. And on top of it all, he's not a virgin and I am! Last time, I finally thought that I would be more forward about it and I brought a condom. I took it out and he just said "We had oral today. What are we gonna have for next time?" I do not suspect that he is having an affair or that he has some secret like an STD or anything like that. He would have told me during one of our conversations, I'm sure. Maybe someone can help me understand why he's taking things so slowly. We're not tennagers either--he's 31, i'm 22. Do you think he's going so slow because he knows I'm a virgin? Or maybe that he's just taking his time because we don't get to see eachother often. Any input is greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
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male
reader, AnonimousJake +, writes (16 October 2006):
wow. i have to say there aren't many men on the planet that like to take things slow, has he been hurt greatly in a past relationship? if so he might be worried about messing things up.He must care alot about you, if it was anything sinister you would have been hurt before now.if you really feel like you need to take the next step, then i say take control and pounce on him!that'd work on me anyway...
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