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female
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anonymous
writes: my boy friend and i have been togther for over a year now and although when we met i knew he smoked cannabis that didn't matter because ive known him for many years and what kind of person he is, when we first got together he really cleaned up his act but after a few months the odd joint became 2 then 3 now hes lying to me about OUR money, and smoking it every night.although i complain and tell him how i hate it, it puts me off him and how i think he has a problem, i'm just met with anger and denial i love him with all my heart but the money situation and his addiction is breaking us apart and causes endless arguments i'm wondering if i should 'nip it at the bud' or stand by him.i offer to help but he says he'll quit but not now, when asking him why i just get the response because i dont want to i get so mad at him and when im resonable he just brushes me off with " yeah im listening" i will do blah blah blah what should i do ?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): I have to disagree with previous answers that cannabis is no big deal. I went through the same experience as you and for about 18 months I felt I was unappreciated and "on the side" girlfrind because my boyfriend smoked cannabis, a lot! Yes it is a big deal when it affects someone else, and yes you need to talk to him when he's not stoned so he understands why you are upset by his behaviour. People should realise that cannabis is a still an illigal drug which affect you and the brain. It's not as powerful as cocaine, but I know it affects mood and has potential harms.You are upset for a reason so don't let anyone think otherwise. Talk to him and see if you two can come to a compromise.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 I wouldnt neccesarily say that Cannabis is not a big deal.. any drug can be addictive and change the personality of a person, and change them from what they really are, so surely something that changes you in that way, that you dont really have a control over when your doing it is a big deal! When it affects others around you it too is a big deal, I know we are not talking about A class drugs here, or anything like that, but this is certainly taking over his life, and upsetting you, do you really want to sit and watch him do this day in day out for the rest of your life ? If he doesnt care about himself, then hes not going to care about what you think or indeed you, if he had enough respect for you he would seek help, and stop and shape up, the longer it goes on the worse it is and eventually he will have dragged you down too. If he wont get help, then get out! there is only so much one can do for another, if hes not prepared to take the help, then you cant make him, he has to do this himself. let him know what he is going to lose if he carries and walk away if nothing changes, find someone new that will respect you!
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A
female
reader, lostgirl04  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Smoking cannabis isn't really such a big deal. My ex smoked all the time. The only thing that bothers me is how sometimes it makes you really mellow and you can get very lazy. But I understand your problem. He is spending your money and that's not right. Ask him to please only use his money. Tell him what bothers you but do it nicely. When you nag guys they tend to space out, hence why he tells you he's listening and he really isn't. Sit with him one day when he's smoking and tell him calmly how you feel and how he thinks the problem can be fixed. He will most likely comply. If he doesn't respect your opinion, being it reasonable, then you have to think about what's most important to you. Becuz some1 who doesn't respect your thoughts and opinions is not a good guy for you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): why is it such a big deal that hes smoking cannabis? Its obvious that he enjoys a smoke here and there. I smoke blow myself as it chills me out and I will admit I can change a bit when smoking it but nothing drastic, maybe just a bit more lazy and care free.. Nothing my girlfriend will complain over. If its actually changing his personality as heavy use can do this then there IS a problem but right now im not getting the full story.
Are you just against drugs full stop? If you are, your boyfriend would really respect you if you took some time to really read up about cannabis and know the facts as negative government propaganda has probably filled your head about the evils of dope when it really isnt that bad. Most negative views on cannabis are rumours or made up etc.
Remember not all drugs are THAT bad. And the reason: Theres a difference between drug USE and drug ABUSE
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): Leave him, and find yourself something better to do.
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