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female
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anonymous
writes: i'm 14, i've never had a boyfriend and in turn have never been kissed. I'm shy and I am a little over weight... is that such a turn off? are guys really that shallow? ...how can i get guys to notice me for me and not for what i look like?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): ok this is late but heres my advise. im only 14 myself so i don't know a great deal about this stuff either. i have never had a bf/ been kissed as well and, for me, sometimes it is horrible i feel so lonely and wish for a bf and that feeling of love and be kissed and it all to be lovely, whilst other times i love being single! i just want to be on my own or with family and feel like a bf would just tie me down. right now i feel like i want a bf which is how i found this. but anyway i also wanted to say that its usually the slightly overweight, shy, average, smart girl who ends up on top. i mean as a teen guys think wow shes sexy i love her but as they get older they want to settle down, get married have kids etc and they look for the personality more than looks ( they finally figure out that the cute ones arent always the kind to settle down, they are the kind to have ya and leave ya!!--- not all but most) so just wait a while thats what i tell myself. this may sound annoying but do well at school get a good job and you might find that special someone at work??? and if you are working in a high paying job than he may have a bit of money!!! but seriously dont worry it may feel hard now but wait and i bet within 10 years you will have found him! good luck xxx
A
male
reader, Troubled101 +, writes (27 May 2006):
 Honey, take it from me, they do notice you. Mabey they dont come over and ask you out because they are shy or any other amount of reasons but beleive me, as a teen, boys notice every single girl and at some point there will be someone for you. Dont worry your still very young with plenty of time. They are notcing you, believe me. Dont feel down about it. Your time will come. And i bet sooner rather than later. hope this was helpful.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2006): ok all my friends are guys......and yah they can be shallow sometimes.......but when it really comes down to a girl that they like.......they stop looking at looks, and go deeper into personality
if you feel like your a little over weight.....do some sit ups or different exercises
jsut be your self and dont worry that much
one day you will find the perfect guy
its not uncommon for 14 year olds to have not been kissed
im 13, but tons of my friends havent been kissed before! a good way to get your first kiss is in a game of spin the bottle.......but i found out that a real kiss means soo much more then a kiss from spin the bottle!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Listen to Mr Martini; as a man, he knows whereof he speaks when he talks about boys your age!
But also consider what I have to say. I'm a former shy-and-slightly-overweight (not to mention geeky) 14-year-old, whom the boys overlooked at your age, too.
What you can do is immerse yourself in activities where you excel. If you're inclined that way, join the drama club, the chess team or the debate squad. If you have physical strength, consider track events. Or ignore all those suggestions, and get involved in whatever you care about: the astronomy club, a church group, an environmental group... etc.
What I suggest you should be aiming for is an environment where you can be surrounded by people who like the same things you like, and who, by extension, will like you.
At least *some* of those people who like the same things as you will be boys, and the fact that you have that in common can get you past that first "I'm-not-very-pretty" hurdle. Another benefit of a common interest is it will get you past the shyness and allow you to be your cheerful, friendly self. There's no better recipe for male attention, even if it may not be romantic. Hey, you have to start somewhere.
Because, as the previous advice mentioned, 14 is just the very earliest stage of dating. Modern media (eg: TV) might have convinced you otherwise, but it's true! Nobody gets into serious relationships until after high school, and the only ones who think they do are still IN high school and haven't learned that yet.
So don't worry. You sound like a smart girl, and you don't necessarily need a trophy (in the form of a boyfriend) to prove that to anyone.
In cases like this, patience is a virtue, so don't think you have to perform some elaborate vamping ritual, or get all loopy with "majickal" incantations, or pretend to offer sex, or any of the other pieces of crazy advice you'll get from other 14-year-old girls. Just be patient and be yourself. If guys don't get that yet, they will when you're older.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2006): It would be difficult for that to happen. First, there has to be a guy that you find attractive that is sincere, mature enough, and perceptively attracted to mental credit over physical stigma. Guys at that age are generally shallow. If not, then they are too busy doing their own thing - like computer hacking, improving their skate material, do good in their next vball game, and so on.
I believe despite what some people here may believe, you need not really have to worry about getting a bf right now. Even if you do, what is the chance for it to last? Prime age is after high school. That's when you're not as restricted, and you supposedly have better opportunities. 8]
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