A
female
age
30-35,
*ara'93
writes:hey, i'm in need of advice! My bf has a very different religion to me and my family. His family's religion is very strict and one of the 'rules' is to be with some one who has the same religion. He doesn't care much as he is with me but he hasn't told his mum and dad about us. He has been in my house a lot and even slept here a couple of times but i've never even been out side his house. (We've been together for almost 8 months) i do really like him and i think he really likes me to. We are like soul mates and we have been friends for years so i don't want to lose him! I don't know what to do! Please help, thanks. X
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): i am in the same boat i am 43 and my forbidden love is 40 we havent had sex but heavy petting you should walk away but its not easy
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2011): It is quite true that they go door to door to "preach" the "word" to "save" other people. They're very strict about that. I did want to correct you on the rule not to associate with people from other's religion's. Of course it's nearly impossible to not be in contact with different people... even working you can't avoid it.
However, they're told to refrain from extra "worldly" contact. For example: my ex boyfriend had 6 or 7 friends at work that he hung out with once a week, before he went to hang out with them, his dad (an elder) would counsel him to be cautious with their intentions to misguide his faith on the basis that they are "worldly". I've seen the same happen with a few other Witnesses. It's not against the rules to have friends and hang out with other random people, but too much contact with them will get you counseled.
They are generally nice when speaking though! After the initial shock wears off that you're taking their son away from them (harsh, I know, but dating you will get him disfellowshipped and shunned from his friends and family if you're not one of the Witnesses) they will be friendly and accept you to have their son back in their life. It's complicated. There absolutely is a rule about dating people from a different faith, and it comes with a price for one of Jehovah's Witnesses.
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A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (7 January 2011):
 If he's J.W., that still means Christian, after a fashion, and his family are enjoined by their faith to treat you with Christian charity, period. They have to feed you when you're hungry, give you shelter from the bad weather and give you a chance to be friendly when you are plainly making an effort. That's the rules and you can speak to someone at a Kingdom Hall and get it confirmed if you like.
There is NO rule against associating with people of other faiths! Are you kidding? Doesn't one often see them going from door to door to convert people? You may have to put up with some preaching and invitations to Bible studies but should not have to deal with cruelty from them. If you do run into trouble, call their local pastor and complain; I mean it.
Your boyfriend may be giving you a line of bull here. He just wants to keep his fooling around to himself - by the way, sex before marriage IS frowned upon. Still, don't just believe what people tell you without independent research. You have every right to make your boyfriend explain himself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): Called that one lol.Well hey! If you're so inclined, you can do a search on this shit for Jehovah's Witnesses and read a few questions that I posted myself. I dated one at one time and asked quite a few questions in terms of issues I personally dealt with, trying to get him to compromise and communicate better etc. It's hard, and you'd be surprised at how your relationship might struggle because of this.In response to the other poster's, no, don't convert to his religion simply to be with him. His religious views are very strict and harsh and it means a lot more stress than you realize on yourself. Only convert to a set of beliefs if YOU believe in them.His family will not know about you until you're married to the boy unfortunately, at least that's 90% probably given the situation. He can be disfellowshipped for dating you, a "worldly" girl. What that means is... he'll lose the right to communicate with you, his family, and any friends he has. Obviously he's not too super serious about it, otherwise he wouldn't have slept over at your house (sex before marriage and alone time with a member of the opposite sex is not allowed whatsoever, he's "supposed" to be "chaperoned" at all times with a girl) so count your lucky stars! Don't expect too terribly much, and be careful! Hope that helped...[Added 2010-01-06]"And no, I don't believe he's using you. His religion is a harsh one. Telling his parents about you is by no means easy for him, infact it's probably one of the hardest struggles he's dealing with."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2011): he just want to use you, as far as he is single and after wards he will jump, the thing is you are trusting him too much, if he wanted your soul mate he could have spoken with his family and could have introduced you to them but he did not and he will not. Be care full. Because similar case i have seen personally in real life with experience i am telling you
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A
female
reader, sara'93 +, writes (6 January 2011):
sara'93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, he is (and his family) a jehova!
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A
female
reader, sara'93 +, writes (6 January 2011):
sara'93 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi, he is a jehova witness! :) x
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A
female
reader, swordandredrose +, writes (6 January 2011):
You have 3 choices:
1. Convince his family to stay with you (which sounds unlikely but you know anything is possible)
2. Continue your relationship and deal with the fact that he might get disowned by his family.
and 3. If you really LOVE him, I guess you could convert to his religion.
I'm guessing this guy is either Jewish or Muslim because as far as I know, these two religions have this kind of restrictions.
Hope that helps!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): If I may ask, what is his religion?
The use of the word "rules" and being unable to date someone from a different religion are hinting to me that I may know what he believes in. If you'd prefer, send me a PM, but I'd love to hear from you! ^^
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (5 January 2011):
 You've not been to his house because he does not want his family to know about you, so really he does care about something doesnt he. I wonder if they have someone lined up for him, for marriage, say. And i wonder if you are just there until that day to keep him company. By the sounds of what you are saying i think you are in for a very rocky ride.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2011): Have you considered becoming part of his religion? If you are "soul mates" as you say, and you truly love him, you should consider it. As he should too consider giving up his religion for you if he loves you.
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