A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Why is my husband blaming me for not loving him anymore?, and accusing me of cheating on him (im not). We have been together for 10yrs he has cheated on me , lied about numbers on his phone, looked at other women on the net and commented on their bodies,got us into debt, he makes promises he has no intention of keeping, destroyed my trust in him completely. Now i've decided i cant take it anymore, he wants to know why i can so easily throw away 10yrs!.....i have spoken to him about how i feel, and he promises he will change, then it happens again....im worn out, i love him but im not in love with him...im confused and lonely i know i should leave him but i dont want to hurt him...he is making me feel guilty for not loving him.
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female
reader, wvgirl  +, writes (16 February 2007):
 He spent the whole marriage hurting you, yet you don't want to hurt him by leaving him when you're not even in love with him anymore? Girl, he is using you. He's trying to make all the bad things that he's done your fault, and you're falling for it. Leave him, and next time he asks why you're willing to throw away 10 years, tell him that you didn't, he was the one who did. Good luck!
A
female
reader, Carina  +, writes (15 February 2007):
 You have two choices: leave him or get him to go to counselling. He doesn't know how to love you and he's treating you very badly. He's provoking you into leaving him because he hasn't got the courage to leave you. All the things he's done have been ways of controlling you to see if you'll stay with him. Of course he promises to change, but he doesn't. Go with your gut feelings and start to lead a life of your own. If you're not in love with him any more, then move on. I know it sounds very hard, but you have your life to lead and being treated like this does you no good at all. If he really does change later down the line, then you can rethink. I don't often say this kind of thing to people, but you really have to put yourself first in this situation.
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