A
female
age
36-40,
*ballZ
writes:I won’t be shy, I’ve been around the block more than a few times and never have I come across anything like this. I met this totally great guy last year. He was friendly and we got talking. We’ve been dating for the last 9 months or so now. But when things began to heat up last month I took him back to my place for a bit of fun. A few drinks later I did a sexy strip for him. Naked and horny I started pulling down his pants. He was huge, I mean super huge. Not as thick as my wrist but close and long. I was so scared of him right then.Tried giving him a blowjob, couldn’t. Then 2 condoms I had, both broke as I put them on him. I eventually got the courage and tried straddling him. It hurt, it really hurt. I even started to cry. He was a nice guy and didn’t pressure me or anything. He finger fucked me really well and even went down on me. He can also give the best foot massage ever. I was so ashamed that all I gave him was just a tit fuck. We’ve tried a few more times since then. Managed to fit him in a little bit, but nowhere near enough to possibly satisfy him, I think. He hasn’t said anything. He seems happy just getting me off with his face and hands. I’m tiny. None of my previous partners were anything over 6-7 inches. I’ve done anal before but I’m not even going to try just yet. I’ve brought some large toys to try and loosen myself up but I think I’m just naturally tight. He’s a great person, kind and caring. Good with kids from what I’ve seen. He’s also got a job too if you want to get picky. But I just don’t think I can satisfy him. I cannot even make him cum most the time either. I like him lots. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, FballZ +, writes (30 January 2012):
FballZ is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hey, well I've given it some time and things are still not working out. I mean. We love each other on an emotional level but when we get physical it still not working out. Lubrication silicon or water based helps very little. We've tried all the limited penetration positions but that is quite uncomfortable for both of us. I have started seeking professional help but initial test say I’m 100% faceable. No concerns or abnormalities. He’s just big and I’m just small.
A
female
reader, FballZ +, writes (18 October 2011):
FballZ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all. I’m responding as posts pop up. So some posting may tend to overlap. I do do kegel exercises almost religiously and attend a yoga group three times a week. I’m very bodily flexible.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (17 October 2011):
 Sounds like a keeper.
Tit fucks, done right, can be very pleasurable. Apart from that, practise using your hands and mouth...an expert pair of hands is invaluable in such situations. And practise frequently with your mouth. It's not easy getting a guy to cum from a BJ, but practice makes perfect and I suggest getting a lot of it.
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A
female
reader, FballZ +, writes (17 October 2011):
FballZ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. All true. But it still makes me feel like I'm not pleasuring him, and in a way I’m not getting off. I mean, orgasm from penetration is awesome for me, nothing like being filled then filled. But I can hardly get the head of him in me without some discomfort. Bur what is worse for me is I just cannot get him to orgasm. We were talking last night and he’s totally cool with everything. We both know/already knew each other has, excuse the expression, been around the bedroom with more than a few partners in our past. He has mentioned that I’m the smallest he’s ever been with. We have even tried those positions for big dick/small vagina couples but it’s not working for us. Also I should say this too. We are both very sexual people. Even though we have been dating for a while, there was that element of attraction. That mood that said, lets fuck, let’s go at. But we always just let it simmer in the background until it exploded that first time we tried.
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A
female
reader, HoneyComb +, writes (17 October 2011):
I reread your post, mulled it over, and now think that the problem may be in your head. I say this because the vagina is very elastic AND its muscles very powerful...so much so that women are able to push babies through it...have been since the beginning of time! Your anxiety over his size is creating tension and causing the keegles to tighten and clamp shut, preventing entry. He needs to take it real slow and you need to relax. To do that you have to trust him first. If you trust him, then find what makes you feel relaxation; meditation, yoga, hot bath and a stiff drink. Engage in lots of foreplay (natural lubrication is best) and as his penis leaks rub it over the area for additional lubrication. Then lay back, relax, and redirect your thoughts by sharing your feelings with eachother while he eases in. Give this time and repeat your efforts. When you're certain all your fears have been conquered, if you still aren't able to enjoy eachother in that way, seek the advise of a gynecologist.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 Titjobs feel amazing! Dont be ashamed that you had to compromise with that! If he gave u positive feedback on that, you dont need to hold expectations for yourself. Sounds like this could fun! Have him use the toys on you and heck, maybe try a few on him if he's into it that is. If he's too big, he's too big and like you said, youre a tiny woman. No sense in harming your body if you guys experiment a little and find that he's too large.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (16 October 2011):
 He sounds like a very caring man. I think you please him very much or he wouldn't be bringing you breakfast in bed, etc. There are so many ways to please him and if you guys keep talking, and keep working it, things will improve.
I was in a similar situation and let the good guy go and boy do I regret that now because there are so many other aspects of a good relationship, sex is just one of them. And with sex, penetration is just one aspect of sex.
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A
female
reader, FballZ +, writes (16 October 2011):
FballZ is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. I should have mentioned that I've/we’ve been using lube. Have tried both water based and silicon based. I had been told by one of my girlfriend’s that silicon based lubricants would be better, but it made no difference. We communicate pretty well. He’s a great guy and really knows how I feel. In the morning after we first tried to have sex he brought me breakfast in bed (with a single rose too) but all I could think about right then was the monster in his pants. I mean up until that night I never noticed the huge bulge he had in his jeans. And I look back at pictures of when we first met and there it is staring me right in the face. How could I have not have noticed he had a third leg. Lol.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 October 2011):
 Have you tried using plenty of lubrication when you are trying to penetrate him. You both need to be open and honest with each other about what is good for you both and what is not, so tell him how you are feeling and communicate with each other. Believe me lubrication can go a long way. Also try different positions and see if any help. Tell him what feels good and what doesn't and ask him to help you the same way.
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A
female
reader, HoneyComb +, writes (16 October 2011):
There's no shame in talking straight with him about this. He's well aware of his endowments and not hiding any secret. Just the fact that he didn't pressure you for sex in the 9 months(!?) you've been dating tells me this may have affected his relationship(s) in the past. It could be frustrating for him, too, so tell him how you feel about him, explain the difficulty you are having, and ask him to show and tell other ways to please him. To open the discussion you could show him your post and tell him afteward you wrote it.
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