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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been married to a nice man for 15 years. "nice" is the word everyone uses to describe him but this includes a bit boring maybe. he is 10 years older, I was young when we met, and I was already feeling a bit dissatisfied in that I am havin a bit of mid life crisis. Feeling dissatified, old and resposnible for every thing. We have 2 teenage children and hubby seems to have decided that since his mum died I am a suitable replacement.Then about 2 months ago I discovered that dispite paying our mortgage for 15 years it still stands at more than we took out. He can't explain where the money has gone and is either being secretive of completely icompetant. My future now seems to be to work hard until I'm 65 then retire and care for my 75 year old hubby on a crap pension. I always believed that I was tightening my belt as a young person so we could have a better old age. I now feel like I have no future and don't trus my hubby either. Have raised it several times and made it plain that unless he explains our marriage is over but he is just so set in his ways that he buries his head and pretends it's not happening. Feel hopless and pointless. Advice please
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2006): I'm the original poster and I have established that things went wrong when the mortgage became "offset" He just paid all the bills on the mortgage and lost track. The problem is that this has now become more than the financial issue. I have pointed out that this is making me ill and that I am crying everyday wondering about our future. I have discussed what needs to be done but he has done NOTHING. It eels like he doesn't care but he says he does. His latest deadline to do something to prove he will make some effort is the end of November. He only downloaded the mortgage statements when I bust into tears and said "why don't you care?". I have a horrible feeling he still hasn't grasped that this is make or break but I don't know how much more I can do
A
female
reader, pica +, writes (15 October 2006):
I think you need to get to the bottom of the financial issue. It doesn't sound good at all and may well be the reason your husband is burying his head in the sand. If you can't get him to talk, perhaps you should get legal advice. Good luck.
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