A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My birthday is coming up soon and ill be 21I asked my boyfriend what he was getting me for my birthday he told me it was from a (Adult store)and he wouldint tell me anything else. Even tho i asked him not to get me a sexy costume!I recently found out from someone that its a sexy costume... thats shows everything! Ive had many talks with my boyfriend i am not comfortable having sex with the light on yet because ive got a few scars on my body and body issues.. Ive told him that well do it when im ready and i just dont want to be forced into it. I can understand that he may not care but me personal just am not read for it.I just feel like hes just ignored my wishes and gone behind my back to get me something he new i wouldn't wear like or be comfortable in...How would you deal with this situation? Should i act happy and suprized? Or something else.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Hahaha, awesome agony aunts.
When you open it, ask him.."So where's my present?" Give it back to him, tell him to return it because he knows very well you are not comfortable wearing a naughty outfit with the light on. Then tell him to go out and get you a present you actually want. How about one of those new ipod nanos?
Now, I will say..depending on where your scars are, he could have bought that to cover those areas, but yet still have the light on so he can see your get-up. However, if he picked the naughty maid outfit with that see thru skirt, bra top, and a garter which won't even cover your bum..but there are a few outfits that will cover up. So he may have went in there with good intentions. I will also say, don't knock those costumes till you try them..they're actually a lot of fun.
However, I can very much understand you don't want to be pushed out of your comfort zone..and not everyone does it with the lights on.
Happy Birthday!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 November 2010):
 The next Christmas he bought me a snowblower...sigh
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (3 November 2010):
 What a dumbass. My reaction was the same as celtic's, who is this present really for? I learned the pitfalls of this the hard way too. Since I had one GF who really loved that stuff, I thought most women did. WRONG! Ha. Life lesson learned.
If that's what he actually got for you, then you need to consider how attentive he is to you and what you've expressed are your wants and needs. This isn't a thoughtful present if it isn't something you like.
Eyes, great story!
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Eyeswideopen your husband is brilliant!! lol
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Return it :) Pure and simple, if you are not wanting to wear sexy costumes ( yet or ever) he needs to respect that.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 November 2010):
Let me tell you a little story. I gave birth to my first child on a December 23rd. I was still in the hospital Christmas day. My husband brought my Christmas presents to the maternity ward. What did he get me? The Encyclopedia of Cooking cookbook, and three sets of lingerie. I'll bet the nurses are still laughing about it 33 years later.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Personally... I would ask him who the birthday present was for , you or him?
He is getting you a sexy costume for your birthday - what are you going to do with it?
Oh yeah....dress up for him. Its not HIS birthday. Its yours.
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