A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I was always under the impression if a guy spends his money on you then his investing in a future. My boyfriend of 8.5 months is very generous. He books lovely holidays, hotels, takes me out to dinner etc but still hasn't said he loves me. He has even booked a holiday with his family for January. We had a talk in june and he said he had feelings but it wasn't love and couldn't tell me how he would ever feel. So why is he spending? He earns a regular wage so he isn't rich.What do u think? Does he feel guilty for not loving me?Just a General overview or experiences would be great
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female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (9 August 2012):
 A guy who spends money on you is investing in his future? Seems like a cold and obnoxious statement. I've always heard a guy spends money on you to get you into bed. Regardless, I agree with the other posts. Money doesn't matter. The things he does and says are what matters. If he spends money on you, but does not show you kindess and care in other ways, I would worry.
I also agree with SVConfused in that you can usually tell when a man is in love with you. He doesn't need to tell you. He will do and say things that SHOW he is in love with you and that is much more important.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 August 2012):
 I have a man who does not say he loves me often. I know he loves me. I knew it before he told me. Now he confirms it.
It's not about spending money although to me, a man that is generous with his money, his time and his attention is saying a lot without words....
you have been dating about 8 months and about two months ago (at about 6 months out) he said he had feelings but he wasn't IN LOVE...
personally perhaps he's just slow to figure out what he wants...
some people know after 3 or 4 months they are in love (I'm like that but my track record for marriage sucks) so maybe it's better that he's taking his time trying to figure it out.
if everything but his words say I care about you, then I'd listen to his actions and wait and see what happens.
IF you are happy and having a good time, then enjoy it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 August 2012):
It's possible that it's guilt spending, or spending to keep you interested even though he's not.
I'd say though, that at 8.5 months, he should be feeling something. I'd also say that for him to outwardly say that he wasn't feeling love is also a bad sign.
I think that you might need to have another talk with him. It sounds like you're a bit of a trophy, rather than someone he wants to be with.
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