A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What should I advise to my daughter ( 20 years old 0? Her boyfrend (18 years old )is blaming her for not telling him the truth about past with others which happend before they started commited relationship. She is crying very ofter from the way he say things to hurt her now for not telling then. His frends contribute by adding the fire. Their reliationship is 6 months long , last 2 months she is crying every few days. If this would be me I would try to break such relationship , is this a good way to go considering that they are 20 and 18 ? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Hi
They are both so young and this can be natural however it all sounds very heavy and intense to me, also because you are involved.
I get warning bells and don't like the sound of the boyfriend. your daughter in tears so much over something that actually has got jack diddy to do with him anyway. What right has he to hold her to ransom about anything to do with her past.
Maybe you should back off from this situation so that you can actually(see)it more clearly.
Give them chance to sort things out and let your daughter decide, but be aware that this could be the beginning of a possible abusive relationship. No one should take REPEATED pleasure in punishing somebody for their past, only once should he be entitled to get angry if she withheld truth.
If he can't accept her past now he never will because of his small mindedness.
Don't like this one
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I know it's hard, but the first thing you should really try to do is look at things objectively. As a parent you will always want to take your child's side. Is she really keeping anything from him? Even if it's before they were together, he probably still wants to know what kind of relationships she had prior. If she's going to lie or not tell him when he asks, that's not exactly his fault.
On the flip side, your daughter may very well be innocent and being honest with him. If he still gives her trouble and she is being 100% honest... then she's gotta dump him. Just make sure she's not embarrassed by her past and lying to both you and her boyfriend.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): as a mother, you can't interfer. she has to learn to make up her own mind.
you just have to tell her that he's a silly sod & she deserves better. she'll sort it out okay, she's 20 & just needs a shoulder to cry on. like i do with my mum (:
...............................
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 August 2010):
 I think you shoul stay out of it, MOM. Let your daughter make her own decisions and mistakes when it comes to relationships, she won't take responsibility for her own mistakes otherwise.
What you can say to her is how very sorry you are that this boyfriend is behaving so immaturely and cruelly and you hate to see her so sad and hopes that she will make the right decision in order to take care of herself. You might reiterate to her that she doesn't NEED a boyfriend in her life to make herself feel good or valuable that she is just fine all on her own the Way God made her, and that she might feel better if she puts her focus on herself and not the boy and do the things, achieve the goals she has set for herself and that fill her up.
Best of luck to you all.
...............................
A
female
reader, KA-help  +, writes (9 August 2010):
advice your daughter that it might be hard but she is still young and it might be time to call it a day. I think that if he truly loved her it wouldn't matter too much what went on before they were on a committed relationship. At the same time because they werent she shouldn't have been honest and have nothing to hide. I also find that at 18 his mates and himself will still be quite immature about deep relationsips compared to your daughter.
I have a sister who was with her ex for many months, she was only about 2 months older than him but he was still quite immature compared to her and had a Tendency to blow things out of proportion. It was hard for her but the amount of times they argued and she cried over him they called it a day.
my advice would be tell your daughter the same thing, and to do what feels right, at the end of the day he doesnt sound like mr perfect and can probably do better and find someone whos mates don't get involved and she doesnt cry every couple of days. Hope this has helped x
...............................
|
