A
female
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*axwardle86
writes:Hey i have been with my husband for 3 years although we have been together for 5 I love him very much but last year I went through a really rough time and lost 3 babys altogether the 3rd was an abortion and my husband has been blaming me even though the baby would of come out severely disabled. Let me explain that if this had of been my first then I would of kept it but I already have 2 young children and a teenage sister to look after. After rowing for months it's got to the point where he is being violent to me and beating me on a regular basis he is never romantic never sends flowers gifts takes me out never has probably never will but I still love him. He wants to change. I also have a new man in my life who came on the scene a couple of weeks ago he is affectionate and very romantic but right now i'm so insecure I need to feel loved and its to soon to ask that from him what do I do? can you believe i'm only 21. Please help !!!!! xxxxxxxx
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abortion, disabled, flowers, insecure, violent Reply to this Question
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female
reader, jaxwardle86 +, writes (7 June 2007):
jaxwardle86 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I wanted to thank everyone for there advice and their honesty even though some of the words were harsh it was what I needed to hear to get on with my life If your in doubt to any of the awful things my ex put on here please read other questions i wrote and you will know the truth thanks again xxxxx
A
female
reader, jaxwardle86 +, writes (3 June 2007):
jaxwardle86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFirst of all, I was not trying to control her. She set up this account using my email address and I didn't want to set up a new account just to give my side. Why should I? I don't mind her going online and letting off steam but I do believe I have a right to correct any mistakes she has said. Secondly, how am I lying to her. What have I said to indicate that. And thirdly, we always act maturely in front of our children and they do not see any of our anger. Our children are always our top priority
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (3 June 2007):
 I think the two of you are very immature due to the fact you are both going behind each others backs and lying to each other, you are obviously both unhappy in your relationship if you are both abbusive to each other do the kids a favour and walk away from each other, otherwise go get some counselling and anger management courses.
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (3 June 2007):
 Although I understand your need to defend yourself, I have a couple of points that I want to make clear.
1) Your wife has a right to vent online, and it's a little odd that you need to follow up with things, and post on her account. Are you that controlling that you need to control her internet accounts?
2) The only person that can control you going to work is yourself. If you two are arguing, it's better that you go to work, and take a break to cool off.
3) If she's getting violent towards you, you have the right to come up with a custody agreement, and get a divorce. There's no point in staying in a relationship based on hate and distrust.
4) You guys are being incredibly selfish, because you're so consumed in hating each other, that you're forgetting about your children!
5) If she's not taking care of the children, move out, get custody, and move on. It would be better for the children to be in a peaceful environment with one parent, then in a warzone with two!!
DV1
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A
female
reader, jaxwardle86 +, writes (3 June 2007):
jaxwardle86 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry, I must correct this post as I am her husband and feel very hard done by. My wife lost 2 children last year not 3. She also lied to me saying the second would be disabled so I would agree to an abortion when in fact the chances of it being disabled were very low.Also, she has been very violent towards me and often stopped me going to work due to her insecurities. This has caused a massive cash flow problem and my work place losing patience very quickly. These problems have caused me extreme stress which has led us to bicker and argue non stop which indeed has got violent on a couple of occasions which I am not proud of but it is certainly not one way.I do agree that I am not very romantic, (My Dads fault unfortunately), but I do work hard for her and it really stems from us having our first child very early into our relationship, (Which also turned out to be someone else's). She hardly ever got up during the night with the kids and as soon as I do get home from work, I try to help as much as I can, (i.e tidying up, washing up, cooking, putting kids to bed etc.) I hope this gives a more balanced scenario for you as I hardly ever get a chance to give my side
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