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He is about to become a Dad, and has only just told me. What do I do now??

Tagged as: Big Questions, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 January 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 January 2009)
A female United Kingdom, *iordana writes:

I have just found out that my boyfriends ex-girlfriend is 8 and a half months pregnant with his child.

My boyfriend and I have just got back together after being separated for just under a year and although I knew that during that time he had slept with his ex it didn't bother me as I was also seeing someone else at that time.

What I cant get over is that he has left it this long to tell me... She is due to give birth this week!

I asked him many times before we got back together if he had anything to tell me or if there was anything I needed to know and he always said no.

I love my boyfriend a lot but I keep wondering what else he hasn't told me. I thought I would be angry, but instead I just feel numb. When he first told me I felt like I couldnt breathe.

Should I give him another chance and see if we can re-build the trust or should I leave?

I'm so confused right now.

View related questions: ex girlfriend, got back together, his ex

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A female reader, deirdre Ireland +, writes (13 January 2009):

you said you asked him if he had anything to tell you & he said no & now you found out he was lying. Im sorry but that does say a lot about his character

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A female reader, MommyOfOne United States +, writes (13 January 2009):

MommyOfOne agony auntI don't know if I agree with the other posters. This shows character! This shows A LOT about the person he is. Plain and simple... Its a little disgusting.

My daughters father was with his current girlfriend for almost a year before confessing he had a 1 year old child. - just don't see how this isn't a deal breaker. It shows how he will act in the future with other huge issues. Possibly hide them from you.

This is a sign of his true character, sweetie.

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A female reader, bitch United States +, writes (13 January 2009):

I understand your feeling of "numbness" when he told you of his ex being pregnant. That is a feeling that your body gives you to protect you from something very painful that is happening to you. I felt that same feeling when my husband told me of his infidelities. I went completely numb for days.

He has to be able to talk to you about this and open up. This will help you to get past this shock and disapointment you are feeling about his soon to be child and ex giving birth to his baby. This is serious and will affect your future relationship. He needs to be a father to this child and participate in this childs life. You will have to deal with his interactions with his ex from time to time and you need to be able to trust him during these exchanges they will participate in for the sake of the baby. It is up to you whether or not you can let this go. And it is up to him to be completely honest with you in order for you to be able to move forward and build a trusting, loving relationship.

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A male reader, Arianz Bangladesh +, writes (13 January 2009):

Arianz agony auntDear,

I think you can forgive him this time. So that he can set his mind. Yah it’s true that he did mistake. If he realizes that then you can forgive him and continue as like before.

But don’t pinch him for this because if you pinch its mean you didn’t forgive him.

So be easy with him and take care him as you did last days.

I think he didn’t tell you because he didn’t want to lose you that time.

I hope everything will be fine. So not to worry…

Take care

Have a sweet time.

arianz

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