A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now, and I have gotten to the point where the "little things" just seem to agitate me more. He is generally a great boyfriend- loyal, treats me well, keeps me involved in his life, tries to keep me satisfied, but lately, I haven't been feeling completely satisfied. I feel like he's a good boyfriend when it comes to overall, big picture, but he's completely clueless sometimes when it comes to the "little things". (I'm sure you girls know what I mean.) I sometimes hint at how I wished he would be more romantic, spontaneous, loving- but it's difficult to talk to him about this because these are things that should be intuitive, not done because your girlfriend asked you to. It scares me because he tells me that we will live together once I'm out of school (in a couple years), but I don't understand how he can want to live with me, but can handle going 2 days without even hearing my voice. I'm not a nag, I don't even call him everyday, but I have hinted at how I wished I could talk to him at night sometimes before we go to sleep, and that some other things bother me, but he only gets frustrated and tells me that he wishes we could "just be happy", and not always have to get into these "heavy" conversations whenever he comes home from work. He does work a lot, and these last few weeks he has been under more stress, but still, our relationship should be important too, right?Am I being unfair? Or do things need to change?And if so, how can you "teach an old dog new tricks"? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LynstHolin +, writes (13 July 2007):
There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, a perfect boyfriend-girlfriend-husband-etc. And no one is ever completely satisfied with their life. There's a saying: the perfect is the enemy of the good. If you expend too much effort trying to get to perfect, you can miss out on a lot of good stuff.
"but it's difficult to talk to him about this because these are things that should be intuitive" Arg!!! Too many women expect men to be mind-readers. Big mistake.
(Personally, I hate being confronted with anything 'heavy' after I get off work, too.)
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 it sounds to me like you are with a completely NORMAL guy!!!they dont think the same way we do and he is doing absolutely nothing wrong. instead of you expecting him to do the little romantic things why dont you try and organise something romantic for the both of you - waiting around for him to do it is stupid there are 2 of you in this relationship - and to be honest your ideas would probably prove alot more enjoyable then any of his. you are being a bit unfair but its understandable - you just need to realise that you and your man think completely differently.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): I suggest you buy a copy of the book 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' That should explain everything in fairly simple terms.
Phil
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