A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am concerned with my boyfriends flirting. I have never questioned him until now (6 months into the relationship). I recieved a forward from HIS myspace to a girl. And was one line that made me happy and several that just had me heart broken. "Ill be honest too, I have been dating this great girl for 6 months now, think it was in between my trips to Africa and your number had changed lol! I never did get my date with you :(Still have never got you out of my system though lol!Love the photos on your profile, really well done. So you must be or trying to be a model now?"Turns out an ex-girlfriend of his still has his passwords and sent it to me. Which is just strange but should I be worried about this exchange. The email shows that they never dated but that he wanted to... And the never got you out of system part really bugs me. He is coming home Monday and we need to set boundaries, any advice? Can I make him stop this behavior?Thank you all so much in advance!The girl
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2008): Thanks for all of your help.
Honeypie--I don't think you read my post in detail; I never snooped his ex-girlfriend got into his myspace and forwarded it to me. I have never had issues.
Emilyanwsers-When we first got together he said that he only focuses on one girl at a time. Which is why it hurt so badly to get that message in my box. You can imagine; you get excited because your guy is away and you see a message from him and it turns out to be that forward! Very frustrating.
Well if you can offer anymore advice; I would appreciate it.
Happy Holidays--The girl
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 December 2008):
 I don't think you can "cure" his flirting. As new as your relationship is he should be focused 100% on you, not the could-have-beens.
It might be a bit hard for you to explain to him, just how you know what he has said to this girl. Snooping is a big no-no in a relationship. As it turned out you snooped and found something that really hurt you. And now you are faced with the fact that you will have to tell him you snooped in order to confront him. Which in turn will show him that you do not trust him fully. See what I mean?
You need to talk to him. What he is writing might seems like flirting now, but can so easily escalate into an emotional or physical affair. So many people get so caught up in the whole text/email flirt relationship fantasy.
It seems to me he isn't quite ready to commit fully to you. He is still exploring his "options". He might truly love you, but that doesn't help much if he also still have feeling for someone else. And yes it's possible to have feeling for more then one person, it's whether you act on it or not, that shows who you are and what morals you entail.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (28 December 2008):
Was he like this when you tarted dating him?
If he was then it may just be what he is like and you can't change him.
I think you can tell him that you are not happy he's telling other girls that he still has feelings for them.
Tell him to get his act together and change his passwords and commit to you and stop talking to other girls like this. Ask him seriously if he is ready to commit to you because you don't want to be with someone who is wondering if the grass is greener.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (28 December 2008):
 He doesn't sound very grounded to me, just going on what you have put there.
Could be a rocky ride ahead
C xxxxx
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