A
male
age
30-35,
*dt1989
writes:It's a long story really, and its really getting me down because i dont know what route to take or how to approach the problem and just kind of want other peoples point of views.So basically I'm a guy and I met a really nice guy.. one night while out, he is so kind and really funny, he got ym attention big time and I find him really attractive both outside and in... the problem is... he is 39, and I am 19.shock horror i know. i wish it wasnt true, because we are that obsessed with eachother i sometimes feel ashamed of myself for seeing a guy that is basically twice my age.... but then i think, what the h3ll, love is love what does it matter?I don't know how to tell my friends about all this, and even my family for that matter. I hate being judged by people. I'm really stuck on what to do. how would any of you approach this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): heya,i think age shouldnt be a problem at all,as long as your happy,your family and friends should support u and just wish for you to be happy! i had the exact same age gap with my boyfriend and we had loads in common,my friends and family just liked the fact that i was happy so it didnt bother them...try not to worry! x
A
female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (16 August 2008):
 Does your family know you're homosexual? And your friends too?
Because if they do, I don't think you having an older guy will come as a shock for them.
But if they seem worried about the two of you, have a talk with your parents.
You, your guy, and your parents should sit down and discuss your relationship with them. Assure your parents that you're a grown man and that you know what you're doing and that you'll assure to them that you will try to do the wisest decisions possible. Your guy should tell them that he will respect you and care for you and that he will never hurt you. He should also tell them that he loves you and that he's there for you and not for the physical pleasure.
Be to the point. You could write first what you want to tell them and memorize it before you have the talk. This way, your parents will now that you're serious about your relationship. Also, stay calm and mature and listen to what they tell you. If they become unreasonable, control yourself and try to convince them that your relationship will work.
Now, your friends will be trickier, but it's about the same process. Tell them that you know what you're doing and that you care deeply for this guy and that he feels the same way. If you can, have your boyfriend assure them he likes you the same way. Make your boyfriend meet your friends and hopefully his social skills will make him befriend them.
But you know you will be judged by people, no matter what you do. Even the biggest simpleton will be judged, just because he's a simpleton. It's something we sadly can't stop from hapening.
Good luck and I hope your friends and family are understanding.
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A
female
reader, sweetheart1nonly +, writes (16 August 2008):
Dear im in the same situation, im 19, my man is 36, infact we plan on getting married. ive been with guys my age and a lil older but like u said love is love and it's him i love.
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