A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So this will be super long, but I don't really have anyone to vent to. Here goes: I've started talking to this guy, (we'll call him Steve) who is a co-worker of mine and a friend of my good friend John. My friend John says Steve has confidence issues and is really sensitive. Bearing that in mind, I went on two dates with Steve. On the second date (last Tuesday), we almost had sex and we stopped because he thought it was moving too fast. I agreed and knew that if we really wanted to pursue some sort of relationship, this isn't the way it goes.Steve told me he really likes me but doesn't know what I want. He said he is looking for a girlfriend but wants to get to know me better. He said he doesn't like "labeling" the relationship. Just wants to go with the flow.I told him I want to get to know him too but don't want to be strung along. Thats happened to me so much in the past, you see. It hurts and I'm sick of it! After a bit of talk, he confided that he doesn't have much experience with women and that I'm the first girl hes even kissed since he moved here from the East Coast! Steve also said that he has been depressed lately (would explain why he would talk to me a alot at work for a few days, then practically ignore me on other days) because he is really really close with his family and missed them. He also told me of his confidence issues. So we said goodnight. Steve told me he really likes me and kissed me a few times. He left the following Thursday to see his family on the East Coast for the holidays. He has text me every single day, all day while away on the East Coast. Saying he can't wait to see me again. Calling me things like "baby" and saying how "cute" he thinks I am. Steve also said that he told him family about me. That he "met" someone and went on to describe how "caring" and "compassionate" I am. I was flattered. He even sent me a few pictures with his phone of his family. This is nice and all, but is it just me or is this sort of acting like a "boyfriend"? If so, isn't that sending me mixed signals?On Sunday (Christmas) something happened to his beloved Grandma and she had to be rushed to the hospital. I expressed my concern and sympathies, and it looks like she will be ok. He appreciated that I was "there for him" and said he couldn't wait to see me. He has been texting me less and less and hasn't text me at all today. I feel like maybe he will loose interest. And by the time he gets back this next Sunday, he won't be interested at all. I have issues with trusting men because I have been lead on so many times.Am I crazy? Am I over thinking things? Or do you suppose he really is leading me on? Help!
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female
reader, mdttjulie +, writes (29 December 2011):
Don't worry about it. Go with the flow, but don't give him what he wants (sex) unless he wants something serious with you. Best of luck!
A
female
reader, XOLoveOX  +, writes (29 December 2011):
No, I dont think you're crazy. Yes, I think you re over thinking things. No, I don't suppose he is leading you on. My help to you is simple, clearly he is quite inexperienced and currently upset I maybe a girl but I hate when people start pitying me over things, and he doesn't HAVE to text you everyday he could be having a really bad day or something.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2011): I think your over-thinking this, he is with family and spending time with them, and the situation with his grandmother is tough. Don't worry about it. I understand how you fell, I have been strung along a lot in the past and I know that it can make you analyze everything. Try not to though, as hard as that is, give it a couple of days. if he doesn't contact you, call him and ask him how he is. Good Luck.
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