A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a student. I have met a boy via facebook 5 months ago..and we started talking by phone as he wanted my number for helping me in my near exam as he was from the same stream as mine and was my senior.In the meantime my ex- boyfriend broke up with me..I was just broken at that time and this above mentioned fb friend stood beside me that me and then he proposed me.I said no first but continued talking with him through nights. but what is my problem is that he wants to do phone sex with me almost from the beginning of our telephonic conversation..even after few days of our friendship..even before proposing. he is otherwise a very helpful, intelligent boy and i like him now and i said him that i like him now.now he wants to meet me and wants to do sex with me if possible even in at our first meeting..and now always wants to do phone sex whenever we talk.but now im not prepared for this sex before marriage because i am from a very conservative family and being a girl i have the risk of being pregnant.We have promised to marry each other within few years and i told him that i will do sex only after marriage.He is insisting to do it now because he says he can't wait more. i like him too much as our intellectual thoughts match and he is mature but can't agree with him in this sexual matter.I tell him everything about my view and request regularly to wait till marriage but he argues and insist ..im really tired of arguing.I can't understand whether it is the effect of night talk or he just trying to use me for his sexual frustration or he really loves me and wants it so as a part? i don't understand what to do because i dont want to lose him but im really annoyed and frustrated by his such adamant behavior..please suggest
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broke up, facebook, my ex, phone sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): if i was a father i'd go apeshit if i knew my daughter is talking with this creep...get rid of him ASAP.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 No, no, NO, NO, NOOOOOooOooooooo! Shout that in his ear, on the phone. No means NO. It is not the start of a negotiation.
Stop having phone sex. If he starts, hang up immediately.
He will soon leave you alone.
You have become attached to a sexual predator. The helpful charming personality is a fake. He is pretending to be nice to get what he wants.
You are a naive and trusting girl who needs to wake up and dump this fake, this rapist-to-be.
I expect he's probably harmed other girls already.
Run away from him as fast as you can! Stop being so trusting and naive and get tough!!
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 He proposed to you, but he's never met you in person? He insists on phone sex, and now he's demanding real sex?
It's time to get a grip on reality and dump this weirdo.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 May 2013):
 Forcing you to do something against your will is not right.
Forcing you to have sex against your will is RAPE.
If you are having phone sex with him stop doing it.
DO NOT meet him anywhere but in public. IF you are alone with him he will push you to have sex and he will wear you down and you will give in.... trust me I've seen it happen.
when you think you love someone they can be very persuasive.
I do not think he loves you
I do not think this is "night talk"
I think he is a user and he wants sex and he will say anything he can to get you to give it up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): You still didn't understand he is only after sex? You didn't even see him at all yet? And all he talks is about sex? Please, you are grown up enough to understand what he wants. His behavour is disrespectfull to you. No, in any language means exactly that, no. Because you continue to talk to him, he thinks he has a chance.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 I have a suggestion that I am sure you don't want to listen to : just ditch him.
He is selfish, manipulative and prevaricating. If he really loved you ( from his heart , not from his penis ) he would understand and respect that you have very valid reasons for not wanting to be intimate yet. He would understand that in your culture/family/environment virginity is a major issue and you need to keep it until you are married . He would understand that you just can't risk a pregnancy, because for you it would be not just a nuisance, but a tragedy.
Not that , anyway, he would need to understand your reasons to respect them. When a girl says no, it's no. What part of NO does he not understand ?
Do NOT go to meet him, particularly because it sounds like it would not take a lot of pressure to convince you.
Tell him that if he just insists once more, then it's completely over between you . You won't do that because you are afraid of losing him ? Yes, it's very probable that when he understand he is not getting sex , he will lose his interest in you. But, don't you see that if he dumps you because you don't want to have sex with him , then he was after the sex, not after you ?
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