A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok im 22 nearly 23, and just started dating a new guy who's 29, 30 next year....we got on so great then we had a heart to heart and i found out he has two kids from his last relationship aged 6 and 10.....im confused now! How could this ever work? Am i being selfish? I need help should i stay clear? He has a good job supports his kids etc so i know he's not a bad dad! Am i to young to get involved with this?They visit him 3 times a week! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Prophet7  +, writes (18 May 2009):
He sounds like he's a good guy. Dealing with children and ex's from past relationships can be difficult. If you both have a understanding relationship and he's genuinely good to you it's a good chance it could work. There will be tough times don't get me wrong but if the love is strong between you two it will work out. Are you ready to be a stepmother to his children if this relationship gets that serious? Think about that while you continue to see him. Follow your heart. Nobody plans on getting with someone who has kids but if the person is special sometimes we take that chance. Hope my advice helps you. God Bless... Prophet7
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm 22 so i can be quite selfish and realise i wont be number one and thats what im worried about but i like living on the edge and taking chances!! Hes just such great fun and we both said were going to see how things go and just have fun then see what happens...hes not to worried about it so why should i?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 May 2009):
 I'm guessing he waited quite a while to tell you he was a dad. Maybe that is the confussion. I'm guessing he took his time trying to get to know you before telling you about having kids.
I married a guy with two kids and a beast of an ex wife. Looking back, I think I was REALLY naive in thinking it would be an easy thing to do.Honestly, if I HAD to do it over, I don't think I would have gone down this road.
What it boils down to is, DO you want to date a single dad or not. There is NO shame in admitting you don't feel like you can handle the 2 kids and ex, on top of a relationship. The kids will ALWAYS come first. Not you. Sometimes even the darn EX will come before you. It might be more baggage then you can handle.
With all that being said, he seems like a good dad and a man with a great sense of responsibility, which I think is rare to see.
Good luck,
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A
female
reader, sammi star +, writes (18 May 2009):
 His relationship with his children says a lot about a man. He obviously loves them a lot and supports them and there are many men who don't face up to their responsibilities like that. He sounds like a good man but you'll have to ask yourself weather you like him enough to accept his children as part of the package? Nobody's asking you to be a mum to them but they're inevitably a huge part of his life. Good luck x
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female
reader, Tine +, writes (18 May 2009):
 well the question is really do you like kids?? you can defintely make this relationship work if you are willing to.
If he's a great dad and provides for his children then really i dont see any problem. This shows he stands up to responsibility and i think you'd be lucky for a guy like that. there aren't many guys in the world who do that!!
he is not asking you to let them move in with you, you cant hold it against a man for having children. If you like him enough to start a relationship with him then i think you should take the whole package. but one thing you have think about is that his children will always come first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): I wouldn't want to date a guy who had kids, even more so if they were older kids. It's not selfish, just knowing what you can or cannot take.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (18 May 2009):
 I'm not sure why this confuses you. The guy has two kids. Either you can accept the fact or you can't. If you like dating him and have a good time what's the problem? Besides, it's not like you are getting married or anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Do you want it to work? is age the problem or the kids? You are suddenly a stepmum ?
if you are really into him then no, it doesn't matter - really. But i get the feeling your not...
star.x.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 May 2009):
Well if you want to take on 2 kids then go out with him.
He and his kids now come as a package and you have to accept that they will always come first to him.
His choice was to have kids so he has to live with the fact that not all women will want to take him on.
I certainly couldn't deal with a guy who has kids. It's not selfish, it's just the way you are. I think you have every right to want to go out with a guy who comes without baggage and ties.
Good Luck!! xx
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