A
female
age
41-50,
*wi
writes:Dear Cupid..I was searching ANYWHERE for an answer to my question, and I stumbled along this site.. I read someone else's question: "My boyfriend does not ejaculate during any sexual acts, is it because of his prior masturbating?"and the person who responded; Undisclosed, seemed to help me understand a little.. so, thanks!My boyfriend, whom I love dearly, is 19. He's the best thing thats ever happened in my life. We actually met over the internet :)He is so perfect, it's scary sometimes! The only thing that's really starting to upset me is that he is having trouble staying hard and letting himself cum. In person, over the phone, over webcam.. (we live in different states at the moment) and it's starting to affect me because I think it's my fault.. I feel that he doesn't find me attractive any more.. and I feel inadequate as a girlfriend.I am older and a little more experienced than he is, and also his first girlfriend.I don't know what to do.. all I want to do is help him through this.. and let him know I'm not going anywhere.. He thinks I won't love him cause of this.. "problem"..Please.. any info is highly appreciated..-DwI
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): my boyfriend was the same way, actually. i was the one who took his virginity. But even before that, he was, well, kind of limp. and i didn't really understand, and i thought it was because of me. but it wasn't. it was because he was nervous. i mean, before me he never had but one blow job and i guess the girl hurt more than satisfied. but i got really confused. then, once he got more comfortable with me, he started getting harder. and now he's like it's supposed to be.
he's jsut got butterflies sweetie. give him time
A
female
reader, dwi +, writes (6 January 2009):
dwi is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks so much for all your input! You've all sure made me feel a LOT better today! I'll keep you updated! *hugs*
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (5 January 2009):
 In my opinion, "Yos" is on the right track here. Your guy is probably just nervous. Key indicators you provided: You are a bit older and more experienced. You are his first girlfriend and apparently his first sexual experience with a woman. He apparently said that he thinks you "won't love him cause of his problem." It is "starting to upset" you, and he probably knows or suspects that. Based on all that, it is no surprise that he could be feeling "performance anxiety" and it would likely make most any young man very nervous, plus there is always the fear of causing unwanted pregnancy. All you need to do is back off on your expectations, be patient and allow the relationship to develop on other levels for a while. Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (5 January 2009):
 You should sit down with your boyfriend! Tell him that you will still be with him even if he isn't perfect at the moment! Assure him that who ever you may have been with in the past doesn't matter to you and that you won't compare him.He may be afraid he won't live up to your past boyfriends... Just sit down and have a talk with him. If you still continue to have problems suggest having him go to a doctor...
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A
female
reader, dwi +, writes (5 January 2009):
dwi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! That is an EXCELLENT article! *hugs*
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A
female
reader, dwi +, writes (5 January 2009):
dwi is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe's cum in front of me before.. maybe he's just still very nervous with me.. he's always had this thing where he doesn't like to fail.. and if all he thinks about is NOT "failing" with me.. I guess that could be a big downer (in every sense of the meaning)He says that before he met me.. he had slight problems staying hard though.. and I think he's too young to have ED.. but then again.. that's why I'm here.
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 He may have difficulty ejaculating for a number of reasons. It's probably nothing to do with you. Nervousness is a likely candidate.
This is a good article on ejaculation difficulties:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/relationships/sex_and_sexual_health/probs_difficultyejaculating.shtml
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (5 January 2009):
He may just be nervous and embarrassed to cum in front of you! You should talk to him about it and let him no that you want to help and that you want to be with him!Don't take the blame upon your own shoulders! It is neither of your faults. I do think the best solution would be to talk it out with him.
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