A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need advice...I asked my boyfriend (we've been on bad terms since he left for some reason) if he has the urge to try out other girls (since I'm his first, trying not to count the girl he got drunk/cheated with) He said 'eh kinda, but it's low on my list'...How should I take this?Does he means he's bored with me?(I also said 'So I assume you mean urge =sexual but you'd not act on those urges while with me..?' he said 'yeah')Soo... comments?
View related questions:
drunk Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Well, he is likely being truthful. Most young men have the "urge" to have sex with almost ANY reasonably attractive young woman. But at the same time his reply was churlish. It is one of those relationship "set pieces" where the girl asks one of a number of questions and every man knows what the required response is if he wants the relationship to be successful. This was not the required response which means that he doesn't place high value on your relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere is the post where he cheated if you're interested: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-cheated-she-told-me-and-hes-worked.html
However, he drives 3 hrs to see me etc, well we spent sept 16-20th together, then he left, he was amazing while here, but then he left and ... turned sour for some reason.
So I got upset, we stopped tlaking four about 2 days, i came back asked for a second chance, after BEGGING we finally agreed on a last chance, then he sitll seemed sour and not the same man, so i asked him lots of questions... and that's when i asked if he had the urge for other girls and he said yes... but that he wouldn't act on them while with me...
i'm so confused.
...............................
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (7 October 2009):
 Wait. He must act on urges because he cheated on you in the first place, right? Just saying. Anyway. All guys have the urge to sleep with other girls. And girls also have urges to sleep with other guys. It's just the natural order of things. The question is whether they act on it or not. That's what defines if someone is truly there for you or not. You aren't the only one that this guy slept with. He slept with someone else while cheating.
I can see where your insecurity about this comes from. The fact that he acted on these supposed urges shows that he can't really restrain himself. It doesn't mean he's bored with you. He just wants to become sexual with other people. Again that's completely natural. It's the entire cheating history that would case me to worry. And the fact that it's actually on his list of priorities.
So really. It has no reflection on you. But his past should show you a hint toward what the future might be. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (7 October 2009):
 If I was you I would really have been offended by this. Where's his respect for you? I don't know if he'll do anything about this but just saying it to you tells me that he doesn't value your relationship as much as you do.
So why did he leave? You seem to not know why he left? Did you break up? Are you on a 'break?' You don't give much information.
Without knowing more about the whole situation, the only thing I can say to you is that you should not take crap like this from anyone, not even him. Whether he's bored or whatever he should tell you that, or say that things are not working out, not tell you he has an 'urge' to try other girls.
It also seems that he's trying to get you to break up with him so he doesn't have to be the bad guy. I'd let him go and leave him alone to satisfy his 'urge.' He doesn't care about you.
...............................
|
