A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm now 21 years old. I was barely 19 when I MOVED IN with my boyfriend. Things have gotten worse since I turned 21. He has me on a 7PM curfew! If I'm a few minutes late he doesn't talk to me for the rest of the night. Hes even locked me out for being about 15min late. I have to ask for permission to go with a friend. He calculates the amount of time I need to hang out with that friend. Tells me who I CANNOT hang out with. I have not been sexually attracted to him in a few months but yet he still makes me have sex. Sometimes I may cry he doesn't care. He wants what he wants. He feels gross to me now. Hes pushed me down a few steps before. Called me names, pulled me by my hair. Course I hit back. He blames me for why he does what he does to me. I'm planning on leaving him soon. Am I doing the right thing?
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male
reader, B-NaneR  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 You are absolutly doing the right thing, I just dont know why you didnt do it before. He is mentaly and physically abused you, you dont deserve that. If I knew him I would probably lose it, It just makes me sick how some men think they can get away with things like this. Hope everything works out for you and i wish you the best of luck :) I hope you find somebody that treats you like a queen. karma is going to pay you back and him. His shit attitude will catch up to him.
A
female
reader, nIcE +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Yes, theres nothing in it for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Took me 26 yrs to get out. I married at 16 now Im in my 40's and angry I let my life pass by just because I was being mentally,emotionally and physically abused. I in the past yr I been to councelling and I am in the best shape of my life.I can go anywhere and not be timed. I can eat what ever I want not what he cooked. I can drive the car and not be a passenger. I rembember now is how he used to drive the car very fast and pretend he was crashing and how he was going to kill me. Get out now..Contact the crisis hotline and they will get you in a shelter and provide you with all the support and protection. After you are freed dont date for a while until you can stand by yourself and regain your self worth. Never let anyone male/female dictate your life.Its scary...oh my GOD but at the end the way you see/do things will have a new meaning. God Bless You!We all here for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): You cant "get out now!" so ignore the stupid screamers here demanding that you do. Like waz said it isnt them that is going to have to take the abusive shit for you getting caught trying to leave so ignore them and get on with your more sensible but slower plans.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Yes. You are definitely doing the right thing.Get out of this abusive relationship as soon as you can. How dare he tell you that it's your fault that he abusess you, how dare he do it in the first place. If you do not want to have sex with him and he is forcing you into it then that is rape. Don't let him do this to you anymore. Violence is never right, but when you hit back it was in self defense, don't feel guily about it. He is a jealous and selfish man, never believe that you are at fault here.Good luck sweety. XIf you need any help getting through this then ask your family to help you or a close friend. Even the police if you are really stuck. Don't let him treat you like an animal anymore. Wz id right about trying to be discret. I am very worried about what will happen if he catchs you when you are trying to leave.Hope everything turns out well for you. Let us all know that you're ok. X
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 You are a victim of emotional and mental abuse which can lead to violence.
Your life is like in the prisons.
If you can leave immediately , pack your bags and leave quickly.
If you cannot leave immediately , plan your escape secretly and when the time is ripe, get out.
You do what you have to do to survive .
It is like in the movie ,'Sleeping with the enemy by Julia Roberts." Plan your getaway as soon as you can.
No one can chain your spirit.
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Honey, you are young and have your entire life ahead of you. There is no reason to ever put up with this type of treatment from anyone!
Remember this, someone who hits you doesn't like you. This poor excuse for a man thinks you are his personal whipping girl.
If you need help, call a domestic violence shelter in your area. They will help you.
Do not tell him you are leaving. Just pack your things while he is at work and leave and don't look back. Get into some counseling to heal from this.
He will cry and apologize and all that to try to get you back but that is all just bs to get you back under his thumb. Nobody who truly cares for you would ever treat you like this. You know he's abusive; there is no reason to stay with him.
Best wishes
xo
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 OOh I need a cigarette to calm myself down after reading your post about this disgraceful pondlife OMG I AM SO ANGRY...... So bear with me.....
Hi Hun I'm back and a little calmer now.
What this guy is doing to you is ABUSE of the LOWEST DEGREE.... Get out and don't look back, he has abused your trust and clearly needs psychaitric help. He makes you have sex, this piece of garbage has raped you and needs reporting to the police. He cannot get away with it and he will continue to do it with future partners if you don't nip this in the bud. He is a danger to you and any other woman who will sadly walk into his SAD AND PATHETIC LIFE.
Pack your bags NOW and GET OUT PRONTO!!!!! Find a Real Man who will treat you with the love and respect you clearly deserve. Good luck Hun and keep us posted xxxxx.
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A
female
reader, Shamandalie  +, writes (25 May 2008):
A man who does even half those things to anyone, let alone the woman he's supposed to love, doesn't deserve being in a relationship. He's no one to control you, and treat you like that. And, if after only 2 years of being together he's doing this, I cannot image what he might do later on.
Don't leave him soon. Leave him now. Before it gets worse. And don't look back. He doesn't deserve you.
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A
male
reader, Smiffy  +, writes (25 May 2008):
 Hi, what a terrible situation you find yourself in.....GO...dont look back....as DOC says...out there is YOUR man...somewhere....
DONT ever let anyone treat you this way..its not normal and not safe.
Whats the next thing, chained to the bed for not brushing your teeth the right way!!!!
Just leave and dont go back
Good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Why are you still with this jerk? Leave his ass quickly and without further ado. I live in Wash.DC if you need assistance in leaving this fool...let me know
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (25 May 2008):
 This is an EMERGENCY!
Don't you let this guy abuse you for another minute!
This relationship can only go from bad to worse!
Any time a guy causes you undue mental or physical anguish it is time to leave that situation.
Don't wait for someone to tell you it is ok, don't stop, do not pass go, just leave in the fastest possible way and don't look back.
I have always said that every woman can find thier prince Charming if they look long enough. Every woman should be treated as a Queen. (With few exceptions)
So go find YOUR Prince Charming. He is out there living, walking and breathing at this very moment. Find him.
Doc
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (25 May 2008):
 yes of course your doing the right thing..hes being controlling and abusive to you how dare he do this..pack your bags and leave hun this relationship will only get volitile. its not your fault the way he is its his own, he seems very insecure hence why you have a curfew. i went through a similar relationship and it took me 2 years to get out of that relationship. and you feel bad when infact your the victim in all this..you are your own person and hes trying to squish that out of you dont let him walk away now youll be thankful once you gain control of your own life again. i know i wouldnt go back.. thats my opinion aphex x
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