A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend has genital herpes which he contracted some years ago. He is very sensible and we always use protection. He has an attack probably every 3 months or so now, which is better than it was. We've been together for a year and a half and it's never really bothered me before, because we've had other problems to deal with. But he's having an attack at the moment and it's really getting to me! Am I making it out to be about this when actually it's about something else? Do you think I'm crazy for being with someone with a disease? Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2006): Is he aware of what can bring on an outbreak?
Cutting back on chocolate, orange juice, any illness or sickness, Intense physical activity, Increased moisture and friction ,High internal acid levels, over exposure to sunlight, stress.
He will always remain infected and herpes can be transmitted even when there are no visible blisters or "shedding".
It is the way of his life now as it is a permanent virus.
Does he take any preventive pills and does he have creams to apply when he has outbreaks? Outbreaks usually last 10 days.
Most men and women have been exposed to this virus and are not even aware that they have contracted it. They often are carriers and those who are genetically more prone to "outbreaks" are the ones who have a better knowledge of having contracted this virus.
Even using protection while he has no outbreaks can still lead to you contracting the virus.
If he had told you of this before you were intimate; you should have visited your doctor to discuss possible risks and how to live with someone who is infected.
Please do so now so you can gain a better understanding and then you decide to stay or leave.
Note: A person who suffers from herpes undergoes severe stress and struggles with self worth, self esteem as it is a devastating disease to have.
Be aware that women are more susceptible to the diseas in comparison to men.
50% to 80% of Americans carry the anitbody and 45 million Americans are known to have herpes and over one million people are diagnosed every year.
90 - 95 % of Americans are unaware they have this virus.
A
female
reader, Juliette +, writes (8 September 2006):
No you are not crazy. It is normal to ask yourself such questions and it must be very difficult for you when he goes through the attacks. If it is getting to you more now then it may help if you think about what you like about him and love about him that made you want to stay with him and think if you are prepared to give these up. Think of these things when the herpes becomes a problem in your mind and it may help you to decide which carries to most weight in where you want to be. If left untreated, the virus can stop activating and become dormant but I do not know how long and how frequently this happens.
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