A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hi I've been with the same guy 8 years I've been by his side through the roughest of times i had met him while he was married he left her for me . I've done everything possible to make him happy I've never cheated I've never been attract ed to any one else or thougt of anyone else but as threw the years I've felt he was cheating due to his actions ignoring me having no sex n looks of disgust . so I investigated threw all 8 years and every time I felt it , it happened to to b true I have collected messages photos location history lies just as if I were a prosecutor I have every time date place w who everything on paper I haven't showed him or brought it up but one time he was caught trying to get w girl that disliked me though grade school he barely knew her n was going to sleep s her but this time was different people knew not just me so I continued to investigate continued to b let down n hurt he doesn't no I have all this proof where he couldn't even deny do I show him cause confronting him only makes him angry . I'm in a time where if I stay y shouldi he will continue to lie I feel if I leave him do I have to show him all this proof or could I just break it off hoping he would no y ? I think if he were to confess I'd stay for him being a man nbejng honest and admit he messed up would help me threw this n move on w him but I doubt he will wait to do ! Cause if I have to show him n he still Denys I'm gonna flip any advise ?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (8 December 2013):
Leave him he's a serial cheater.
A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (7 December 2013):
First dodgy part: i had met him while he was married he left her for me .
Leave him, cheating can't be forgiven.
Pose as someone on the internet and surprise him, then you will catch him red handed!
or just confront him and leave.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2013):
Pack your bags (if you live at his) and leave. Leave the "evidence" on the kitchen table with the spare key and a not saying don't ever contact me.
He was WILLING to cheat on his wife. Someone he GAVE VOWS to, and you find it surprising that he would cheat on you too? I think a guy who INSTEAD of ending a marriage if he is unhappy, starts a NEW relationship, makes all kind of justifications and excuses as to WHY it was OK to cheat on the wife. Then he SURELY will make the SAME excuses when he gets bored with the mistress.
You can confront him, but it's NOT going to change the fact that you DATED a married cheat. And that you WASTED 8 years on this man.
WHY on EARTH do you want to stay with him? Because you "won" him over the wife so you are now STUCK with this BOOB? The fact that you went so far as INVESTIGATE him shows that you have ABSOLUTELY no trust in him (which is justifiable with his 8 years of cheating) but how can you WANT to stay with a man you can not trust? Who LIED to his wife and WITHOUT a doubt lied to you? You think he won't lie? Or "fake" regret?
I'd say get out, focus on YOU for a while and when you are good and ready. DATE a SINGLE guy, who treats YOU (and other women in his life) with love and respect.
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A
female
reader, like I see it +, writes (7 December 2013):
Leave him. His cheating isn't a one-time mistake that's eating him up inside; it's a pattern of behavior that he clearly doesn't regret. For whatever reason, this guy just isn't capable of being faithful to one woman. You won't be the one to change him, just like his ex-wife wasn't and the girls he cheats with now aren't.
It doesn't matter what he SAYS about it if you have conclusive proof otherwise. And you don't have to show him anything. You don't owe him a detailed explanation of why you can't take it anymore; he's the one who's lied to you and you're the one who is most hurt by this. You deserve better. Just tell him you know about the cheating and leave.
One more thing - have a friend or other witness with you when you tell him if you think there is a chance he will become violent.
Good luck and best wishes :)
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