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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my current bf for 1 and a half years. He had a long distance relationship and told me he ended it. But, I found out they still keep in touch and he updates her on what is going on in his life. He denies that they still communicate. She wants them to work out their problems. Recently he seems to have lost interst in me. We dont talk as much as we used to. Do I leave him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xxmissxx  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Leave, right away! Hes playing you both for a mug!
his bit on the side wouldnt be contact if she didnt have any incentive to go on. sounds like hes saying one thing to you and another to her. You can do much better than this, dont put up with it.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 January 2008):
 Really, we cannot know what is going on in your boyfriend's head.
Maybe he feels sorry that his long distance relationship could not be, and finds it difficult to just cut off all contact with the girl. Or, he got tired of waiting and got involved with you, but would prefer to be with her.
His communicating with her is not as bad as denying he does. Maybe he is just friendly and didn't want to talk to you about it because he feared you would leave him. But he should have been very open. If he wants to make it right to her and you, both of you should know about the other's existence and where each of you stands with him.
It seems a bad sign, and maybe you should leave him. But I think you should get more information before you made a decision.
Maybe you have no way of knowing, but, what has he said to her about their working out their problems? If he has said something other than a clear "no, I have a girlfriend and you, my long-distance friend, are nothing but a friend", then you do have reasons to worry.
He may have lost interest in you as a result of problems in your own relationship. His communicating to this girl might be the reason, or then it might not. This is not conclusive.
On the other hand, if you don't feel comfortable with his having this "friend", which is nothing other than keeping ties with a former ex, then leave him.
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