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female
,
anonymous
writes: I've been involved with the same man for about 8 months. We hit it off right away and jumped into a relationship from the beginning yet all along I knew he had a girlfriend living across the world. He downplayed the relationship which doesn't make him that great a catch but I couldn't help the attraction and went for it despite what my conscience was telling me. I have to admit I never expected anything serious to happen but I fell hard and we have an attraction that continues despite the other girl. We live in the same city and speak every day while he does go and visit her a couple of times a year. It got even more complicated when we both realized we really cared for each other. We stopped sleeping together (such a male way to seperate) but that hasn't made it any easier. I still care for him too much and we behave like a couple when we are together we just have the line. He recently decided we should sleep together again but the girlfriend is still in the picture and I don't know if I can handle any more heartache but the sex was incredible and he is a great person despite his lack of respect for both me and his girlfriend. He was married for seven years and I think this has made if very difficult for him to settle down and he doesn't want to make any more long term mistakes. I don't know what to do, I keep trying to get out of our relationship but I just can't. How do I move on? or should I have it out with him and make him make a choice (I personally believe its a choice he has to make and don't believe in ultimatums)Very confused and would appreciate advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): just wondering. If you guys did get together whos to say that he wont do that to you? And not only that but i think the other reader is right. He is cheating on his girlfriend right now for how many months.. one day that could be you..
A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (26 March 2006):
 I'm sure you feel in the back of your mind, if you tell him to make a choice, it may not be in your favor. But look at it this way, this guy is not a catch. So there will be no loss.
There are no excuses for what he is doing, he is cheating on his girlfriend, and he will continue to do so, as long as you allow him to get away with it. You are actually communicating to him that it is okay to cheat, because you are going along with it.
Keep in mind that even if he chooses to be with you, you will never be able to trust him, and there is a good chance he will cheat on you too. That should be enough to help you make the decision to move on.
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