A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend have known one another for a very long time and were friends for part of this time. A few years back I made a huge mistake, and I can honestly say it was the worst decision on my life. We were talking about our feelings for one another for a while, and in the end, I chose to date a different girl. While I was with this girl I was changed, and manipulated for almost 2 years, and as a result, I was thrown of my home, lost many many friends, lost my job, was on the dole, and didn't get very good grades in my finals. I wasn't allowed to talk to my friend, now girlfriend, at all. I was a complete fool, bu I have learned from the huge mistake I made, and will never let anybody conrol me or change me at all, and I finally have got my life back on track. However, my girlfriend is finding it hard to completely trust me, because of this. I have spoke about it with her lots and lots, and explained everything to her, and promised that I will never let myself be changed by anything or anyone again, and that I will never ever do anything that would hurt her again. What more can I do? I know I can't MAKE her trust me, but surely there is something that could help? Some way to show that she can trust me completely? Thankyou. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did it. I spoke to her about it, I told her about the entire thing. Every little detail. I told her something from it, the most shameful secret I've ever had, in the hopes that me coming clean about this will prove to her that I can only be honest with her now, and she CAN trust me. It was something I had lied to her about a few years ago, and had never came clean with. Now she can only think that she cannot trust me for lying about this. She can't see that I told her this to prove that I won't ever hide anything from her now, I can only be honest and open. What else can I do?
A
female
reader, Manya  +, writes (16 May 2008):
I agree with orange bunny that, given time, she will slowly learn to trust you again. You may want to re-examine why you drifted to the second girl in the first place. It may just be a matter of your growing up and finding yourself! Now your girlfriend will find you a stronger man who knows not to allow another woman to wreck him up like that!!! There are stories in history, many tragic, where a highly seductive woman lured a man from his true love and then got ditched or ruined or the like!!! You are young and have learned from this experience. The best thing to do is to move forward. Give your girlfriend a great time, be there for her, be loving. They say, "once burned, twice shy." So if she is finding it hard to trust you again, you need to be understanding and win her trust by proving you are a solid person commited to the relationship. You also might convince her with an engagement ring! :-)Good luck,Love,Manya
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): The only way you can show that you're trust worthy is through time. By being there, and not making the same mistake again...and it may take years to really prove yourself.
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