A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:HI...I'm sure youi get like a million letters with the same problem as i seem to be havin, but that doesnt change the fact that it makes you feel pretty much miserable. Well.. here goes... My boyfriend and i have been together for two and a half years.. Things have been really strained for a while.. we both study in the same class in college and last year in the exam i topped and he failed a paper. He wrote it again and cleared but obviously it was a big blow. I dunno if its that or what but fot the past year or so its just been going downhill.. He hardly talks to me on his own, Its always me who has to conme up with cnversations. He just doesn't seem to be opening up to me. I know for a fact that he talks to and confides to other girls and is gettin very close to them emotionally and that just kills me cos he doesnt seem to want to confide in me. I guess my trust in him is fading.He keeps saying he wants to handle things on his own and all... i'm tryin to respect that but its really hard when he ignores me sometimes and gives all these short curt replies to anything i ask. Its like i dont satisfy him anymore.. or he's bored of me.. i feel terrible and really dont have anyone to talk to about it.I mean.. should i just back off? give him his space? cos i'm scared that if i do it... its gonna just widen the gap? How long do i just wait.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): Hey.. Thanks for all your answers.. i guess i havent been giving his ego too much of a break. Guess i'll lay off a bit.. Don't think i can give up on him now.. will wait it out. Cos he's worth it. Thanks ya'll... really feels nice to get it off my chest.
A
female
reader, karyn79  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 Sometimes if a man is emotionally attached to someone he loves, he finds it difficult to share problems with them as it can cause conflict, so sharing his problems with others is alot easier.Its easier said than done, but maybe go for a meal with him, or even cook him his favourite dinner and sit down and have a real heart to heart. You might find that over a bottle of wine his problems come flowing out. Just be prepared for the worse, as it could be he is feeling suffocated, or it coud be as simple as his exams/work/money and the fact that he feels overcome by it all. Giving him space when he his feeling down is probably a good thing, just be there for him when he is happy. Try not to go on at him as this will only drive him away, so when he says leave me alone, just leave him too it.
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A
male
reader, Sisyphus  +, writes (30 April 2008):
 You seem to be making him feel inadequate, his poor results shown up even more by your good results. The fact that he is confiding in others and not you seems to indicate that there is a real rift devoloping between the two of you. Maybe you should just move on i he won't talk to you. Best of luck, S.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (30 April 2008):
 well hun i guess he feels a little inferior since u topped and he failed..well right now i think he needs his space the more u run after him the more far away he will go..leave him alone but get updated from his friends on how he is doin and whats bothering him.talk to him sometimes but act normal dont bring past topics out..ask him if he wants to do combined studies together not because he failed but cause u want 2
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