A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've had facebook and Myspace for about 2 years now. My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year. Just last night he looked at my facebook and got really upset because I had guys on my friends list. I don't even talk to 90% of the people I'm "friends" with on either of these sites. How do I make him understand that I haven't done anything wrong?
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (18 February 2008):
 Have to say I agree with Laura1318 on this one... Ok so they mean nothing to you so why add random guys to your friends if you don't even talk to 90% of them in the first place?
You haven't done anything wrong but then exactly how many guys are we talking about here? Are we talking say 10? 20? or 50? 100? Or more?
I'd agree that your boyfriend sounds like he's a bit insecure about this and possibly a bit jealous. But then this could be due to his feelings being so strong for you he's scared of losing you.
On the flip side perhaps you enjoy the attention. It's nice to see perhaps you've still got it and can attract people of the opposite sex. However, at what expense?
I can't really put it any better than Laura1318 when she says "The best thing you can do is to delete all those male friends from those sites and end the matter" and "Since you seldom talk to them , they are of no use to you".
As a guy I would happily delete any girls who are not REAL friends from my friends list on any social networking sites for my girlfriend. Of course I would. This doesn't mean I've done anything wrong but at the end of the day it's a question of priorities.
Best of luck :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2008): Thank you all so much for your advice!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 February 2008):
 You cannot make him understand . He has already formed his opinions . No wind or storm will overturn his opinions.
The best thing you can do is to delete all those male friends from those sites and end of the matter.
If you won't do it,it will be like a sore that will never heal.It will fester and become gangrene and you may lose an arm or leg or possibly your life .
Since you seldom talk to them , they are of no use to you.
You may not like it but this will satisfy your b/f .
It is either your b/f or your friends on those sites?
Which do you think is more important or easier to do?
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A
female
reader, iAintYourAunt +, writes (16 February 2008):
 Tell him he's your beau not these guys. If he continues to be overly jealous you may have to sit him down and try to tell him how he is. He may not even notice that he's being jealous without reason. For some people, I think it's a learned behavior. Others obsess with appearantly no reason.. and no history of it with their folks, etc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): You cant make him understand because he choosing to act this possessive and jealous. What do those behaviors tell you about the guy? You can tell him, that the path to a healthy relationship is for him to stop being so insecure ..and for him to make the painful decision to stop this behavior and grow up. Regardless of how many obsolete male friends you have on Facebook' or 'MySpace', he's supposed to love and respect you and that something should be required of him to behave better than allowing simple emotional reactions guide the dynamic of this relationship. Everyone I know that has a Facebook profile has male and female friends and they admit they don't get in contact with most of them. People collect 'friends' on Facebook like 'fleas on a dog'. It's just the way, MySpace/Facebook is. I think you need to set some boundaries, hun...he needs to get rid of his fears and learn to trust you. Don't allow his insecurities to control and manipulate you. Be strong, take a stand or re-evaluate this relationship.
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A
female
reader, lushlass93 +, writes (15 February 2008):
 your boyfriend is insecure and you need to reassure him thet you havnt done anything with theese people if he cant trust you then what id the point of the relationship he needs to know theese people are just friends and thats it
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