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He got another girl pregnant when he and I first started seeing each other

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 April 2012) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *loveyhoo writes:

Basically its a long story but I met this guy about 6 months ago now and at first i didnt think anything would happen. But as time passed I gradually fell for him. You could say we've got a "thing" going on. I probably like him much more than he likes me, if he even likes me that way.. he may just be using me, well i hope not!

Anyway I've only just found out that hes becoming a dad. He got this girl pregnant a few months ago, and when I worked out the approx time of when she got pregnant I realised that me and him were speaking at the time and that we basically had our thing going on. I know from past conversations that he doesnt want a child anytime soon and that he wouldnt want to be involved in the babys life. But when I found out about this girl being pregant I asked if it was his and he said no. However now ive just been told by his friend that it is his, but he will not be seeing the baby as he doesnt want to and the mum has moved away.

I know that if i ask him again he will probably deny the baby being his, so has anyone got any advice on how I could maybe get this out of him. I want to let him know that he can trust me and that it will not affect anything to do with us..

Im kind of hurt seeing as we were having a thing at the time and that he hasnt told me. I really like him and at the moment I can't just leave him because he means too much, so help from anyone?

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (19 April 2012):

chigirl agony auntAt your age.. there are lots of better fish in the sea. You are blinded by love for this guy, but take a closer look at him. He's irresponsible, had sex way too young and without precautions, he's not taking responsibility for his actions, he LIES about things (told you it wasn't his kid when it is), and is basically an immature little brat.

Whatever reasons you have for liking him don't match up to all the reasons you have to stay away from him.

You want him to trust you? But you can't trust him! That's the bigger problem here. You have a "thing" yet he keeps telling you lies and hiding the truth.. Doesn't exactly sound like the sort of boy who has good intentions.

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A female reader, iloveyhoo United Kingdom +, writes (19 April 2012):

iloveyhoo is verified as being by the original poster of the question

iloveyhoo agony auntthanks for all the comments guys, i do get what everyone is saying, its just hard to let go seeing as i really like him, and i know hes not good for me and i can do better but for some reason i just dont want to let go. i dont know why , but yeah i know its not good for him to not be caring about this baby on the way. im just a bit lost and confused at the moment :/ xx

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (19 April 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou guys got a "thing" going on and he got "other things" going on with other girls....

Yea, not BF material, honey.

Dump him... and if you don't MAKE sure you use protection. You may ask why I say that.. but if he knocked the other girl up and is ignoring the facts, he will with you two. Which means you will be alone in having an abortion or raising a child. He will be NO help.

The fact that he doesn't CARE about a baby HE willingly made tells me that he is immature and rather callous. Obviously he had SEX with her and didn't use a condom.

What exactly do you LUV about him? He sounds like a douche!

You want him to know that he can trust you? Are you kidding? You can't trust HIM further then you can throw him.

Why are you aiming so low for yourself? To be with a loser who knock up other girls and then deny/lie about it?

Come on, honey! You need to start loving yourself some more. Wanting MORE for yourself. Like a guy who is YOURS, one you don't share like sloppy seconds. One who will NOT bring you a STD or get you knocked up.

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A male reader, mr.goodguy United States +, writes (18 April 2012):

mr.goodguy agony auntHe sounds like a complete loser and the sad part is girls at your age are often attracted to bad guys ....and in my opinion STOP !!!wasting your time and energy on some dude that is out sleeping around and knocking chucks up???reality check guys got a baby on the way and he can care less ?he's not a guy u should go for so dump him find another guy that's gunna give you all the affection and love you want .

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